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Lady Magdalene's (2008)

In this action comedy, Jack Goldwater, an IRS agent on loan to the Federal Air Marshal Service, is relieved of field duty after insulting a powerful U.S. Senator, and finds himself exiled ... See full summary »



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Cast overview, first billed only:
Lady Magdalene / Maggie, Singer
Ethan Keogh ...
Claudia Lynx ...
Yassin Salem
Gamal Hosny
Hope McBane ...
Michele Redmond ...
Keyaria Rodriguez ...
Angela Rosiek ...
Ron Czechorosky ...
Mark Allred


In this action comedy, Jack Goldwater, an IRS agent on loan to the Federal Air Marshal Service, is relieved of field duty after insulting a powerful U.S. Senator, and finds himself exiled to a humiliating desk job in Nevada as the federal receiver managing a legal brothel in tax default, where -- with the help of the brothel Madam, Lady Magdalene -- he uncovers an Al Qaeda plot to unload a nuclear-bomb-sized crate at Hoover Dam. Written by J. Neil Schulman

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis


I'm from the government ... and I'm here to help you. See more »

Parents Guide:



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Release Date:

22 October 2011 (USA)  »


Box Office


$525,000 (estimated)
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Company Credits

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Technical Specs


| (2009 cut)


Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1
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Did You Know?


British actor Mark Gilvary played two roles in Lady Magdalene's - an FBI special agent and the Director of al Qaeda - and almost nobody seeing the film has recognized Mark as having played both parts. Gilvary ordinarily speaks in a Scottish accent. In Lady Magdalene's, where he played two roles, all his dialogue was performed either in an American accent or an Arabic accent. After living at the crew hotel for over a month, Gilvary approached a desk clerk he'd become friends with in full Arabic costume and make-up, and speaking to her with an Arabic accent. The hotel clerk didn't know who he was until after ten minutes conversation Mark told her. See more »


IRS Agent Lewis Heinlein: I assigned two previous agents to the job I'm giving you. The first agent was a Sunday school teacher and married man. Now his wife is divorcing him... his church fired him... he quit his job here... and the last I heard he joined the Branch Davidians.
Jack Goldwater: Yikes. And the second agent?
IRS Agent Lewis Heinlein: I tried a female agent the next time. She came to us from the ATF. She also left the IRS after being given this assignment. Frankly, I don't know what happened to her.
Jack Goldwater: Sir, where are you sending me? To audit the ...
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Love at First Fight
Lyrics by J. Neil Schulman
Music by Daniel May
Performed by Dewey Erney
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User Reviews

Bowel Troubles
7 July 2015 | by See all my reviews

J. Neil Schulman, I ask you....why? Why would you do this, to yourself, your family, your cast and crew? Film is forever. And so is shame.

While I enjoyed this grade-school level trainwreck for what it was, questions remain after the laughter has ended. It's easy to enjoy the work of incredibly inept productions like these, that's why shows like Mystery Science Theater existed. Everyone loves to laugh and mock films which are so bad that you cannot hold back the inevitable giggles. But then you are left with questions like...why? How? Where did they money come from? (not that this had much of a budget).

Did these people honestly believe they were producing something worth seeing? How did they keep the cast and crew on the set after they realized what a tragic mistake they'd made? Were there armed guards keeping them from fleeing? Or even more troubling, did they really not know? As odd as that sounds, it is probably true. They honestly had no idea they were making a film whose only niche was to be the subject of mockery?! Can anyone be that brutally unaware? The director/writer/producers...sure. That happens a lot when those without any skill or talent attempt to make a film. But what about everyone else on the set? Is delusion contagious? Please, watch the Youtube version on the directors channel. You'll squeal with delight at the strange opening sequence in which they are literally trying to sell you some sort of herbal product.

Of all the bad films I've reviewed here, this one has a very special place in my heart. It is the worst, of the worst. It sets a new standard by which all truly pathetic films will be judged in the future. This film, makes Manos: The Hands of Fate seem like a brilliant production.

The buffet song at the end is classic. How they were able to fill every position in this film with people as inept as themselves is sort of an accomplishment, I suppose. Right down to the music, wardrobe, DP, everything! There is honestly not a single element within this stool-sample of a film which works, and is at anywhere even approaching a professional level. Actually, it's not really even at the level of a poorly-funded independent film made by moderately advanced 1st-year students either. It's about what you'd expect from someone with no film production background, who just happens to own a camera, and has great motivation to produce a film, despite not really knowing how. That about sums it up. There are kids, who aren't even film students yet, who produce work of substantially higher quality.

Did he honestly and legitimately feel that an audience would watch his masterpiece and be awed? Or at the very least...take it seriously? That alone, says a great deal.

See this film! If for no reason other than to reinforce your desire to never be as comically out-of-touch, delusional, and shockingly inept as the person/s behind this "film". This film might be entertaining in a "point and giggle" sort of way, but its real value, is as a stern warning to others.

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