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"NCIS" Untouchable (TV Episode 2006) Poster

(TV Series)

(2006)

Quotes

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Were you serious, earlier, when you said that I smell bad?

Officer Ziva David: [laughs] I was just kidding.

[Tony farts loudly]

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [farts loudly] How about now?

Officer Ziva David: [hits him] You are disgusting! You do that again and I will shoot you, got it?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [seeing their target appear] Start the car.

Officer Ziva David: How's that gonna help with you still in it?

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[Ducky comes in and sees Jimmy and Abby starting an autopsy]

Dr. Donald Mallard: What are you doing?

Jimmy Palmer: Dr. Mallard!

[stammers, then]

Jimmy Palmer: She made me!

Dr. Donald Mallard: Yes, well, everything seems to be in order. Why don't you begin while I get changed?

Jimmy Palmer: You're not mad?

Dr. Donald Mallard: Work cannot stop, Mr. Palmer, because my mother's nurse chooses to abandon us on a Saturday morning. I applaud your initiative.

Abby Sciuto: So, what'd you do with your mom?

Mrs. Victoria Mallard: [following him in] Donald! You promised me we were going for a ride!

Dr. Donald Mallard: We *did* go for a ride, mother.

Mrs. Victoria Mallard: Oh... you drive too fast, Donald.

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[as Gibbs leads Mrs. Mallard back into Autopsy]

Mrs. Victoria Mallard: You may not believe this, but Donald was the cutest little child! He had long, curly blond hair, everyone thought he was a girl until he was twelve...

[frowns]

Mrs. Victoria Mallard: When his voice changed.

Dr. Donald Mallard: Mr. Palmer, will you please chain my mother to the chair while I tell Agent Gibbs what I've found?

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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [seeing McGee asleep in Abby's lab] Do you have any super glue, Abs?

[Gibbs enters and slaps Tony's head]

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: What did I tell you about that, DiNozzo?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: The skin might not grow back.

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Officer Ziva David: [Eating pizza with Tony in Observation; Gibbs is interrogating Lt. Napleton] This woman is a total turd!

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [Stares at Ziva, pizza in mouth]

Officer Ziva David: A geek, yes?

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: The term is "nerd."

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[a cat runs through a home's pet door, startling Tony]

Officer Ziva David: [laughing] Don't tell me your afraid of a little pussy... cat, Tony.

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Abby Sciuto: Rough night?

Officer Ziva David: Is there any other kind with Gibbs?

Abby Sciuto: It could be worse. It could be Saturday.

Officer Ziva David: It *is* Saturday, Abby.

Abby Sciuto: See? It just got worse. Thanks.

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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: If I wanted to knock on doors all day, I would have joined UPS.

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Mrs. Victoria Mallard: [to Gibbs] I'll be expecting your call, Matthew! I can't remember my phone number... but you'll get it from Donald!

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Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [Palmer makes an off-color comment about their victim] NCIS investigates all suicides as homicides until proven otherwise, Palmer.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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