Lisa Simpson: I can't believe you did this dad. Why didn't you put that thing in your room?
Homer Simpson: Hmm, that thought never occurred to me. Funny how your mind works in a crisis.
Homer Simpson: Ah no. No freezing.
Owner: No Mr. Simpson. This is a sensory deprivation tank. It blocks out all the external distractions that bombard our souls.
Homer Simpson: Can you pee in it?
Lisa Simpson: I'll take two hours!
Homer Simpson: Me too.
Owner: You're about to take a journey into the mind. You may see and experience things that are strange and frightening. But remember, they can't physically harm you, though they may destroy you mentally.
Lisa: Dad, I still don't understand how you could just give my room away?
Homer: Honey, what's your favorite movie?
Lisa: Well, until you taped over it, "The Little Mermaid".
Homer: That's right. "The Odd Couple". Meet your new, comically mismatched roommate- Bart.
Bart: I'm going to make your life a living hell.
[Homer hums "Odd Couple" theme, shoves Lisa into the room and runs away]
Lisa: Mom, what's happening?
Marge: I'm sorry, honey, but we're renting your room to a satellite network until your father can pay for the destruction of a priceless artifact. Boy, I never thought I'd have to say that again.
Homer: Come on, Lisa. Try and see this from the Omnitouch Corporation's point of view.
Announcer: That was "The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats, or as they're known today... Men Without Jobs.
Guard #1: [after Homer destroyed the bill of rights] You just licked off the part that forbids cruel and unusual punishment.
Guard #2: [putting on brass knuckles] Hehe, beautiful.
Homer: If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it's not a fair.