The Princess and the Frog (2009)
Prince Naveen: You know, waitress, I finally figured out what is wrong with you.
Tiana: Have you, now?
Prince Naveen: You do not know how to have FUN. There. Somebody had to say it.
Tiana: Thank you, 'cause I figured out what your problem is too.
Prince Naveen: I am... too wonderful?
[the branch Tiana was holding smacks him backwards]
Tiana: No, you're a no-count, philandering, lazy bump on a log.
Prince Naveen: Ahaha...
[fakes a cough]
Prince Naveen: KILLJOY.
Tiana: What'd you say?
Prince Naveen: Ah, nothing.
[fakes another cough]
Prince Naveen: STICK IN THE MUD.
Tiana: Listen here, mister. This stick in the mud has had to work two jobs her whole life while you've been sucking on a silver spoon chasing chambermaids around your - your ivory tower!
Prince Naveen: [glances away] Actually, it's polished marble.
Louis: Louis would give anything to play jazz with the big boys.
Prince Naveen: So why don't you?
Louis: Oh, I tried once.
[Flashback: Louis climbs onto a river boat and starts playing along with a band; he is screamed and shot at as he jumps back out]
Louis: It didn't end well.
[after Tiana and Naveen get married, they unexpectedly become human again]
Mama Odie: Like I told y'all, kissing a princess breaks the spell.
Prince Naveen: Once you became my wife, that made you...
Tiana: ...a princess. You just kissed yourself a princess.
Prince Naveen: And... I'm about to do it again.
Charlotte: Goodness gracious! This is so much to absorb. Let me see if I got this right. If I kiss you before midnight, you and Tiana will turn human again, and then we gonna get ourselves married and live happily ever after! The end!
Prince Naveen: Yeah, more or less. But remember, you must give Tiana all the money she requires for her restaurant. Because Tiana...
[glances at Evangeline, the star]
Prince Naveen: She is my Evangeline.
Charlotte: Anything you want, sugar.
Charlotte: Pucker up, buttercup!
Tiana: [Naveen half-heartedly puckers his lips] Wait!
Tiana: Don't do this.
Prince Naveen: I have to do this and we are running out of time!
Prince Naveen: I won't let you!
Prince Naveen: It's the only way to get you your dream!
Tiana: My dream? My dream wouldn't be complete... without you in it.
[shrugs with a smile]
Tiana: I love you, Naveen.
Prince Naveen: Warts and all?
Tiana: Warts and all.
Charlotte: [sniffs] All my life, I read about true love and fairytales, and... Tia, you found it! I'll kiss him! For you, honey! No marriage required.
[is about to kiss Naveen when the clock strikes midnight]
Charlotte: Oh my word! M-maybe that ol' clock's a little fast!
[kisses him a few more times in panic and Naveen shrugs]
Charlotte: Oh, I'm so sorry!
Ray: [singing Ma Belle Evangeline] Je t'adore.
Prince Naveen: [to Tiana] I adore you.
Ray: Je t'aime.
Prince Naveen: I love you...
[Tiana gives him a weird look]
Prince Naveen: Just translating!
Prince Naveen: [practicing a marriage proposal with Evangeline] I'm not sure I want to be a prince anymore, cause then we would have to go our separate ways. I don't want that, I want to stay close to you, no matter what. Because... I love you.
[Ray sees, misunderstands and goes berserk on Naveen]
Dr. Facilier: [appearing to read Prince Naveen's palm] Were I a betting man - and I'm not, I stay away from games of chance - I'd wager I'm in the company of visiting royalty.
Prince Naveen: [amazed] Lawrence, Lawrence! This remarkable gentleman has just read my palm!
Lawrence: [noticing the morning newspaper, which had a cover story about Naveen's visit, sticking out of Dr. Facilier's pocket] Or this morning's newspaper.
Tiana: [She and Naveen are floating above trees by balloons] Voodoo? You mean to tell me all this happened because you were messing with the Shadow Man?
Prince Naveen: He was very charismatic!
Tiana: [groans] It serves me right for wishing on stars. The ONLY way to get what you want in this world is through hard work.
Prince Naveen: Hard work? Why... why would a princess need to work hard?
Tiana: Huh? Oh, I'm not a princess. I'm a waitress.
Prince Naveen: A waitress? Well no wonder the kiss did not work! You lied to me!
Tiana: I - I never said I was a princess.
Prince Naveen: You never said you were a w- a waitress! You were wearing a crown!
Tiana: It was a costume party, you spoiled little rich boy!
Prince Naveen: Oh, oh yes, oh ye-? Well, the egg is on your face, alright, because I do not have any riches!
Tiana: [shocked] What?
Prince Naveen: I am completely broke! Hahaha!
[branches begin popping the balloons]
Prince Naveen: Uh-oh...
Prince Naveen: [Tiana had just turned into a frog] Easy, Princess! Princess! Do not panic!
Tiana: [covering herself and panicking] Augh! What did you do to me? I - I'm green and I'm - and I'm slimy!
Prince Naveen: No, that is not slime!
[he takes her hand and rubs a finger over her arm]
Prince Naveen: [grinning] You are secreting mucus.
[Tiana twitches and tackles him]
Charlotte: Oh, Tia, honey, did you see the way he danced with me? A marriage proposal can't be far behind. Thank you, Evening Star! You Know, I was starting to think wishing on stars was for babies and...
Charlotte: crazy people.
[Sees Tiana in a pretty blue dress, gasps]
Charlotte: Why look at you! Aren't you just as pretty as a magnolia in May?
[picks up tiara and places it on a sad Tiana's head]
Charlotte: Seems like only yesterday we were both little girls wishing our fairy tale dreams. And tonight they're finally coming true! Well,
[nudges Tiana then adjusts bra]
Charlotte: back into the fray! Wish me luck! Oh, Naveen!
Tiana: Evangeline is nothing but a star, Ray! A big ball of hot air, a million miles from here. Open your eyes now before you get hurt.
Ray: [to the star] She's just speakin' outta broken heart... That's all it is. Come on, Evangeline. We gonna show sug' the truth!
Dr. Facilier: [to Naveen, singing] Now you, young man, are from across the sea / come from two lines of royalty. I'm royal myself, on my mother's side... Your spirits are high, but your funds are low... / You need to marry a pretty honey whose daddy got some dough!... Mum and Dad cut you off, huh, pretty boy?
Prince Naveen: Sad, but true!
Dr. Facilier: Now you gotta get hitched. But hitching ties ya down. You just wanna be free, hop from place to place! But freedom takes GREEN...
[turns the cards into dollars]
Dr. Facilier: It's the green, it's the green, it's the green that you need / and in your future it's the green I see!
[Louis gives Ray CPR using a straw]
Louis: You okay, little buddy?
Ray: Oh, I'm fine... but your breath done killed me to death!
Travis: But, Miss Charlotte, you said later two hours ago.
Charlotte: Travis, when a woman says later, she really means not ever. Now run along, there are plenty of fillies dying for you to waltz them into a stupor. Gimme those napkins, quick.
Tiana: What for?
Charlotte: I swear I'm sweating like a sinner in church.
Mama Odie: JuJu! Why didn't you tell me my gumbo was burning? I have to do everything around here!
Tiana: Where are you taking me?
Prince Naveen: Oh, I just... wanted to show you a little something to celebrate our last night together as frogs.
[tugs her up and she sees his set-up of a table and wine bottle]
Tiana: Oh... All my years. No one's ever done anything like this for me.
[glances at Naveen and sees he is wearing a butterfly as a bowtie]
Prince Naveen: Oh, heh, i - it is too much, isn't it? Um...
Prince Naveen: Thank you, Bow.
Bow: I thought it was a nice touch.
Bow: Pretend you did not see that.
[leads Tiana to the table]
Bow: Please, please sit down.
[sets a platter in front of her]
Tiana: What's this?
Prince Naveen: [lifts the lid and shows food] Ta-da!
Tiana: You minced!
Prince Naveen: I did!
Prince Naveen: You have had quite an influence on me. Which is amazing because I have dated thousands of women and -
[cuts himself off in panic]
Prince Naveen: No, like two, three... just other women! A-and anyway, you could not be more different! You know, you are - you are practically, heh, one of the guys!
[Tiana looks shocked]
Prince Naveen: No, no, no! You are not a guy! Let me begin again! Uh...
[leans on the table and he slips to the floor, the food spilling on him]
Prince Naveen: Ha... I am not myself tonight. Tiana!
Prince Naveen: Sorry, that was loud.
Prince Naveen: This is a disaster.
Tiana: [laughs] No, it's cute.
Tiana: [freaking out] Stella just talked to me. A dog just spoke to me!
Prince Naveen: You know, if you are going to let every little thing bother you, it is going to be a very long night!
[to his voodoo "friends", which resemble masks]
Dr. Facilier: Friends, I know I'm in hock to y'all pretty deep already, but it seems our little froggy prince lost his way. And I need your generous assistance getting him back.
[the heads glare]
Dr. Facilier: [laughs nervously] I hear you. Now, what's in it for you? Well, as soon as I dispose of "Big Daddy" La Bouff, then I'm gonna run this town. I'll have the entire city of New Orleans in the palm of my hand. And you'll have all the wayward souls your dark little hearts desire. You all love that, don't you? So, we got ourselves a deal?
[the heads contemplate for a moment, then release shadow spirits into the room]
Dr. Facilier: [laughs] NOW we're cookin'! We're gonna find ourselves a frog. Search everywhere, the bayou, the quarter... bring him to me alive. I need his heart pumping... for now.
Dr. Facilier: Don't you disrespect me, little man! Don't you derogate, or deride! / You're in my world now, not your world, and I've got friends on the other side...
[ushers Naveen and Lawrence into his shop, from which murmurs are heard... ]
Dr. Facilier: That's an echo, gentlemen. Just a little somethin' we have here in Louisiana. Little "parlor trick," don't worry.
Dr. Facilier: Transformation central! Reformation central! Transmogrification central!
[Naveen and Tiana are cooking dinner]
Prince Naveen: [mincing vegetables] I'm not really used to doing this. I mean, most of the time I had servants do everything for me: dress my clothes, brush my teeth, even help me get out of bed!
Princess Tiana: [stirring broth] Aw, you poor baby.
Prince Naveen: Yes, they did everything for me, until the day my parents cut me off, and that's when I realized... I don't know how to do anything.
Dr. Facilier: Y'all should have taken my deal. Now you'll spend the rest of your life being a slimy little frog!
Tiana: I got news for you, Shadow Man: it's not slime... it's mucus!
[uses her tongue to get back the talisman and smashes it]
Dr. Facilier: No! How am I ever gonna pay back my debt?
[a trio of masks break out of some graves, chanting]
Dr. Facilier: Friends!
Masks: [smile malevolently] Are you ready?
Dr. Facilier: No! I'm not ready at all! In fact, I got lots more plans! This is just a minor setback in a major operation!
Young Charlotte: I would do it. I would kiss a frog. I would kiss a hundred frogs if I could marry a prince and be a princess.
Dr. Facilier: Fun fact about voodoo, Larry: can't conjure a thing for myself.
Reggie: These two ain't like no frogs I ever seen. They smart!
Tiana: And we talk, too!
[Frog-hunters scream and paddle away]
Dr. Facilier: [during the illusion of Tiana's restaurant] Now, isn't this whole life better than hoppin' around a bayou for the rest of your life?
Tiana: Shadow Man.
Dr. Facilier: Gotta hand it to you, Tiana. When you dream, you dream big. Just look at this place! Gonna be the crown jewel of the Cresent City. And all you got to do, to make this reality Is hand over that little talisman of mine.
Tiana: No. This-this is not right.
Dr. Facilier: Come on, darlin'? Think of everything you sacrificed.
[as he shows her all the people who doubted her]
Dr. Facilier: Think of all those people who doubted you.
[shows her father]
Dr. Facilier: And don't forget your poor daddy. Now, that was one hard-working man... double, sometimes triple shifts. Never let know how bone-tired, beat he really was. Shame all that hard work didn't amount much more than a busted up, old gumbo-pot and a dream that never get off the back porch. But you... you can give your poor daddy everything he ever wanted. Come on, Tiana... You're almost there.
Tiana: My Daddy never did get what he wanted. But he had what he needed. He had love. He never lost sight o' what was really important.
[as she charges him, shaking the talisman]
Dr. Facilier: Easy with that! Careful!
Tiana: And neither will I.
[thows the talisman to ground]
Louis: [Gets a bur on his finger] Aah! Pricker bushes got me! Gator down! Gator down! I can feel the darkness closing in! So cold!
Ray: Just hold still, you big baby.
Ray: I ain't touched it yet.
Louis: You sure this is the right blind voodoo lady who lives in the boat in the tree in the bayou?
Ray: Pretty sure.
Prince Naveen: [talking about her comment to the frog-hunters] 'And we talk, too!' I like that! You are secretly funny.
Tiana: Not a stick in the mud?
Prince Naveen: W-well I was...
Tiana: Say it.
Prince Naveen: Co...
Tiana: Say it.
Prince Naveen: All right... You're not exactly...
Tiana: I can't hear you, I'm sorry. What?
Prince Naveen: ...a complete stick DEEP in the mud.
Tiana: Once you two are married, you are gonna keep your promise and get me my restaurant, right?
Prince Naveen: Whoa, oh, not so fast. I made that promise to a beautiful princess, not some cranky wai - why are those logs moving?
Tiana: [Notices the alligators approaching] Those aren't logs!
Tiana: You said you were fabulously wealthy!
Prince Naveen: No, no, no my parents are fabulously wealthy! But they cut me off for being a...
[notices a leech is attached to his arm]
Prince Naveen: LEECH! LEECH!
Tiana: [tugs off the leech] You're broke, and you had the gall to call me a liar?
[tosses the leech behind them and a large fish leaps out of the water to eat it and they freak and run]
Prince Naveen: It was not a lie! I fully inte...
[glances up to see a large bird about to eat them]
Prince Naveen: AAAH! I fully intend to be rich again! Once I marry Miss Charlotte La Bouff if she will have me!
Tiana: You a prince?
Prince Naveen: Obviously!
Tiana: She'll have you!
Prince Naveen: Lawrence! Glad to see you're finally getting into the music. Do you get my joke? Because your head is, it's in the tuba.
Tiana: Congratulations on being voted King of the Mardi Gras parade.
'Big Daddy' La Bouff: Caught me completely by surprise... for the fifth year in a row!
Tiana: There is no way I'm kissing a frog and eating a bug in the same day.
Mama Odie: The only thing important is what's UNDER the skin...
Princess Tiana: [singing] The evening star is shinin' bright. So make a wish and hold on tight. There's magic in the air tonight, and anything can happen.
Eudora: [telling a story to Tiana and Charlotte] "Just at that moment, the ugly little frog looked up with his sad, round eyes and pleaded, 'Oh, please, dear princess! Only a kiss from you can break this terrible spell that was inflicted on me by a wicked witch!'"
Young Charlotte: [to Tiana] Here comes my favorite part.
Eudora: "And the beautiful princess was so moved by his desperate plea that she stooped down, picked up the slippery creature, leaned forward, raised him to her lips, and kissed that little frog."
Young Charlotte: Aww.
Eudora: "Then lo and behold, the frog was transformed into a handsome prince! They were married and lived happily ever after. The end."
Dr. Facilier: Shake my hand. Come on, boys, won't you shake a poor sinner's hand?
Lawrence: [finding Naveen escaped] Oh, dear...
[is shocked when Facilier appears behind him]
Lawrence: Aah! You're so quiet.
Dr. Facilier: You let him go?
Lawrence: I saw the little guy gasping for air, so I loosened the lid a little...
[Facilier's shadow trips him up, then laughs]
'Big Daddy' La Bouff: [to young Charlotte, in a very firm voice] All right, now, Princess, you're gettin' that dress, but that's IT. No more Mr. Pushover!
[In a much gentler voice]
'Big Daddy' La Bouff: Now, who wants a puppy?
Mama Odie: Y'all ain't got the sense you was born with!
Prince Naveen: Excuse me, but your accent, it is funny.
Ray: I'm a Cajun, bro. Born and bred in the bayou! Y'all not from 'round here, are ya?
Prince Naveen: Actually, we are from a place far, far away from this world.
Ray: Go to bed! Y'all from Shreveport?
Tiana: Louis... Ray here says you've been taking us in the wrong direction.
Louis: I was... listen, I was confused by the topography and... the geography and choreography...
Ray: First rule of the bayou: never take directions from a gator.
Tiana: [singing] In the South Land, there's a city, way down on the river. Where the women are very pretty, and all the men deliver. They got music. It's always playin'. Start in the daytime, go all through the night. When you hear that music playin', hear what I'm saying, it make you feel all right!
Tiana: [singing] Grab somebody, come on down! Bring your paintbrush, we're painting the town! There's some sweetness going around...
[Tiana and Naveen kiss]
Tiana: Dreams do come true in New Orleans!
[Tiana and Naveen dance as the movie ends]
Tiana: [as they get off the boat] Ray, have you seen Naveen?
Ray: Look at you! Where's the ring at?
Tiana: What are you talking about?
Ray: Well, if Captain say nothing, I ain't gonna say nothing. Because old Ray sealed up tight as a drum, you ain't got nothin' out of me, no!
Tiana: [chiding] Ray?
Ray: Okay, Captain ain't gonna marry Charlotte; he gonna marry you. Soon as he get himself kissed, and you both turn human, he go find a job, get you that restaurant.
Ray: I said too much, didn't I?
Tiana: You said just enough, Ray!
[looking to the sky before hopping off]
Tiana: Thank you, Evangeline... He was trying to propose. That's what all that fumbling was about and here I thought, all he wanted was to marry a rich girl.
Ray: [zig-zagging through the parade crowd] Chere! What what are we looking for in here?
Tiana: You just keep your eyes at one of the biggest gaudiest floats with a Mardi Gras princess about to kiss herself a... a frog.
[sees Lawrence "Naveen" about to marry Charlotte]
Lawrence: Sire! I've been looking for you everywhere!
Prince Naveen: What a coincidence, Lawrence. I've been *avoiding* you everywhere!
Prince Naveen: What we want, what we need... All the same thing, yes?
[Mama Odie whacks him with stick]
Ray: [to Naveen and Tiana] Well you folks is goin' in the wrong direction. What kind of chucklehead told you to go this a way?
Louis: [Louis jumps out of the bush] I found a stick!
[Naveen and Tiana give him a blank stare]
[Tiana looks out her bedroom window]
Young Tiana: Charlotte's fairy tale book said, if you make a wish on evening star it's sure to come true.
Eudora: Hmm, won't you wish on that star, sweetheart?
James: Yes, you wish and you dream with all your little heart. But you remember, Tiana, that old star can only take you part of the way. You got to help him with some hard work of your own. And then... Yeah, you can do anything you set you mind to. Just promise your Daddy one thing? That you'll never, ever lose sight of what is really important. Okay?
[Tiana nods yes]
Tiana: [Showing Eudora the decrepit warehouse she plans to buy] Just look at it, mama! Don't it just make you wanna cry?
Dr. Facilier: The cards, the cards / The cards will tell / The past, present and the future as well / The cards, the cards / Just take three / Take a trip into your future with me.
Tiana: [while standing on the balcony, she sees a wishing star; sighs] I can't believe that I'm doing this.
Tiana: lease... Please... Please.
[looks down and sees a frog sitting on the balcony]
Tiana: Oh, very funny. So, what now? I reckon you want a kiss?
Prince Naveen: Kissing would be nice, yes?
[Tiana screams and backs into Charlotte's room]
Prince Naveen: 'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.
[sees Tiana about to launch stuffed animals at him]
Prince Naveen: Wait, wait, wait, hold on.
[Tiana starts throwing the stuffed animals at him]
Prince Naveen: You know, you have a very strong arm, Princess. Wait, please! Put the monkey down.
Tiana: [throws a stuffed monkey at him and lifts up a book] Stay back, or I'll... I'll...
Prince Naveen: Please, please.
[hops ontop of a table]
Prince Naveen: , allow me to introduce myself: I am Prince Naveen
[Tiana squashes him]
Prince Naveen: ... of Maldonia.
Tiana: A prince? But I didn't wish for any... Hold on, if you're the prince, then WHO was that waltzing with Lotte on the dance floor?
Prince Naveen: The only thing I know, is that one minute I am a prince, charming and handsome, cutting-a-rug, and the next thing I know
[trips over his feet]
Prince Naveen: ... I am tripping over these.
[points to his feet and Tiana lifts the book again]
Prince Naveen: Wait, wait.
[catches sight of the book's title]
Prince Naveen: Wait a moment, I know this story! The Froggie Printo!
Tiana: [hands the book to Naveen] The Frog Prince?
Prince Naveen: Yes, my mother had the servants read this to me every night.
[begins to flip back and forth between the last two pages of the book]
Prince Naveen: Yes, yes, this is exactly the answer! You must kiss me!
Tiana: Excuse me?
Prince Naveen: You will enjoy it, I guarantee. All women enjoy the kiss of Prince Naveen. Come, we pucker.
[his throat bulges out and then returns to normal]
Prince Naveen: That's new.
Tiana: Look, I'm sorry. I'd really like to help you, but I DO NOT kiss frogs.
Prince Naveen: But on the balcony, you ask me.
Tiana: I didn't expect you to answer!
Prince Naveen: Oh, but you must kiss me. Look, besides being unbelievably handsome, I come from a fabulously wealthy family. Surely, I can offer you some reward or a wish that I could grant, perhaps?
Tiana: [reluctantly] Just one kiss?
Prince Naveen: Just one. Unless you beg for more.
[licks lips; they lean in to kiss, but Tiana flips at the last second, Naveen sighs]
Tiana: All right, all right. Get it together, Tiana.
[she turns around quickly and kisses Naveen, who lets out a disappointed sigh, upon realizing that he is still a frog, then looks down and gasps in horror and epeaks Maldonian]
Prince Naveen: [gazes up at the table] Well, you don't look any different. But how did you get way up there? And how did I get way down here, in all this...
[gazes up at the table]
Prince Naveen: Well, you don't look any different. But how did you get way up there? And how did I get way down here, in all this...
[sees her hands are webbed. She looks in the mirror, sees she is a frog, and screams]
Mama Odie: Good to see you again, Ray. How's your grandmama?
Ray: Oh, she fine, although she got into a little trouble for flashing the neighbors again.
Mama Odie: Ooh! I like that gal!
Dr. Facilier: A tip of the hat from Dr. Facilier.
[hands Naveen his card]
Dr. Facilier: How y'all doin'?
Charlotte: Who would've thought the prince had a younger brother. How old did you say you were?
Prince Ralphie: I'm six-and-a-half.
Charlotte: Well, I waited this long.
Dr. Facilier: [to Lawrence, singing] On you, little man, I don't want to waste much time: you've been pushed around all your life / You've been pushed around by your mother, and your sister and your brother / And if you were married... you'd be pushed around by your wife!
Dr. Facilier: [his last lines] I promise I'll pay y'all back, I PROMISE...
[gets dragged into the jaws of a rapacious voodoo mask]
Prince Naveen: [as he is taken into the church] Lawrence, why are you doing this?
Lawrence: [viciously] It's payback for all those years of... humiliation.
James: You know the thing about good food? It brings folks together from all walks of life. It warms them right up and it puts little smiles on their faces. And when I open up my own restaurant, I tell you, people are gonna line up for miles around, just to get a taste of my food.
Young Tiana: *Our* food!
James: [chuckles] That's right, baby. Our food.
Prince Naveen: I am Naveen, Prince of Maldonia, and she is Tiana, the waitress.
[leans close to Louis]
Prince Naveen: Do not kiss her.
Mama Odie: Gumbo, gumbo, in the pot! We need a princess. WHAT YOU GOT?
Charlotte: [after the Mardi Gras parade fiasco] Cheese and crackers!
Buford: You got as much chance of getting that restaurant as I do of winning the Kentucky Derby. Hoo-hoo! Saddle me up, y'all! It's post time! Giddy-up, giddy-up!
Reggie: Ooh, just look at those two jumpers. I can taste them frog-legs already.
Darnell: [Loudly] Bet they taste real good with the sauce piquant! Right, Pa?
Reggie: Will you be quiet?
[Hits Darnell with club]
[Two-Fingers mumbles something while making gestures]
Reggie: My thoughts exactly, Two-Fingers. It's time to catch us some frogs.