Edit

(TV Series)

(1997)

Quotes

[about the murder house]

Marge Simpson: Oooh, I remember. Mrs. Astor was very lucky.

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[first lines]

Homer Simpson: [lounging on the couch in his pajamas, drinking beer] Ah. I love these lazy Saturdays.

Marge Simpson: It's Wednesday, Homer.

Homer Simpson: Ahh! Work!

[he quickly runs off]

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Homer Simpson: Ah. I love these real Saturdays. They're so relaxing.

[angry]

Homer Simpson: Not like that fake Saturday that almost got me fired!

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Moe Szyslak: Geez, this hot rod is souped up six ways from Sunday! Never had you figured for a gearhead, Homer.

Homer Simpson: Oh yeah, I'm a real expert.

Moe Szyslak: What is that, a six barrel Holley carb?

Homer Simpson: You betcha!

Moe Szyslak: Edelbrock intakes?

Homer Simpson: Nothing but.

Moe Szyslak: Myohoff lifters?

Homer Simpson: Oh, yeah.

Moe Szyslak: I made that last one up.

Homer Simpson: I see.

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[singing to the tune of "Camptown Races"]

Marge SimpsonBart SimpsonLisa Simpson: On the closing day / the escrow agents pay / taxes, liens and interest too / thanks to Fanny Mae.

Bart Simpson: [finishes the song] They back your baaaaank!

Homer Simpson: You're all nuts.

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Marge Simpson: I'm not getting back in this car until you drive like a sane person!

Homer Simpson: [speeds off] Okaybyeloveya!

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Lionel Hutz: [ringing a bell] Attention.

[the bell dinger breaks off]

Lionel Hutz: Ding-ding, ding-ding, ding-ding. Listen up, everybody. Marge Simpson sold her first house.

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Homer Simpson: [at a police seized-property auction] Wow, sweetheart, look at all this seized booty. We could find the drug boat of our dreams!

Marge Simpson: I don't want a drug boat.

Homer Simpson: Well, I bet there's drug dresses and drug vacuum cleaners too.

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[Marge is showing Maude and Ned the murder house]

Ned Flanders: Oh, my-diddly-eye! Will you look at this place. And the price has been slashed repeatedly.

Maude Flanders: It's sure built solid. The kids could scream bloody murder and no one would hear.

Ned Flanders: Well, I'm just going to spill my guts. I love it to death. I'm going to give you a deposit this minute.

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Marge Simpson: You bought a car without consulting me?

Homer Simpson: I don't remember being consulted when you bought that hat.

Marge Simpson: I found this hat!

Homer Simpson: Well then what are you complaining about? You got yours!

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Homer Simpson: I don't know, Marge. Trying is the first step towards failure.

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Test Supervisor: Time's up. You may now undermine each other's confidence.

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Cookie Kwan: Hi, Marge! Stay off the west side!

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Cookie Kwan: Are you guys talking about the west side!

Gil Gunderson: No, Cookie! I'm scared of you!

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Homer Simpson: Hey, Skinner! Want a drag race?

Principal Skinner: My high school sweetheart was killed in a drag race.

Homer Simpson: Come on, it'll be fun!

Principal Skinner: That's what Debbie Sue said.

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Homer Simpson: Man, the air feels good on my neck!

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Ned Flanders: We're all so tired that we just want to go to our new home and rest in peace.

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Todd Flanders: Red room. Red room. Over there.

[points]

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Chief Wiggum: This is Wiggum, reporting a 318! Waking a police officer!

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Homer Simpson: Lucky thing we landed on this bubble wrap.

Chief Wiggum: Hey, quit hoggin'!

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Marge Simpson: [after collecting her unemployment check] Three hundred dollars for doing nothing? I feel like such a crook!

George Bush: Don't worry! Gets easier every year!

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[Marge is working at a real estate firm]

Lionel Hutz: I've been getting a lot of calls about you, Marge. People just love your no-pressure approach.

Marge: Well, you know what we say: the right house for the right person.

Lionel Hutz: I'm going to let you in on a little secret. The right house is the house that's for sale. And the right person is anyone.

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[Marge gets her first unemployment check]

Marge: Three hundred dollars for doing nothing. I feel like such a crook.

George Bush: Don't worry, it gets easier every week.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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