Homer: Bart, with 10,000 dollars we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things, like... love!
Bart: [protesting outside the radio station] I want my elephant! I want my elephant!
Abraham Simpson: They're playing that elephant song again.
Jasper Beardley: I love that. Reminds me of elephants.
Homer: Well, these bills will have to be paid out of your allowance.
Bart: You'll have to raise my allowance to about a thousand dollars a week.
Homer: Then that's what I'll do, smart guy.
Marge: [Homer and Marge are standing with Bart's Elephant, Stampy] Oh my, it looks like it could gore.
Homer: Hee hee, it does look like Al Gore.
Homer Simpson: [after hitting a deer statue] D'oh!
Lisa Simpson: A deer!
Marge Simpson: A female deer!
Chief Wiggum: Heh, yeah, right, lady: An elephant ran through your front yard. Okay.
Chief Wiggum: Wiggum... Yeah, right, mister, mm-hmm. An elephant just knocked over your mailbox. Okay.
Chief Wiggum: Wiggum... Yeah, right, buddy, liquor store robbery, officer down. Sure. And I'm Edward G. Robinson.
Homer Simpson: I just have two questions: "How much?" and "Give it to me".
Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get.
[Bill Clinton is playing the saxophone in a marching parade]
Moe: Hey Clinton, get back to work.
Bill Clinton: Make me.
[Stampy has just escaped and is running through the Flanders' backyard]
Ned Flanders: It's the four elephants of the apocalypse!
Maude Flanders: That's horsemen, Ned.
Ned Flanders: Well, getting warmer.
Mr. Blackheart: Well, little girl, I've had lots of jobs in my day: whale-hunter, seal-clubber, president of the Fox network. And yes, like most people, I've dealt a little ivory.
Black KBBL Co-host: Don't praise the machine.