- Hank Yarbo: I could save up and buy a Lamborghini.
- Wanda Dollard: You have to save up to buy linguini. You can't afford that magazine... I should have said "magazini". "Linguini", then "magazini". Oh, that would've been great! Could we do it again?
- Brent LeRoy: No. Look, Hank, if you want to shoot for the moon, you go ahead.
- Hank Yarbo: All I want is a sports car. Let's not get carried away with the space travel, huh?
- Wanda Dollard: You'll never have a Lamborghini, you weenie, because your brain is teeny.
- Brent LeRoy: The moment's gone now.
- Karen Pelly: [to Emma and Brent] First of all, as chair of the play park fundraising committee, I'd like to thank you both for volunteering.
- Emma Leroy: This is a sham. I should be chair. I've always been chair.
- Karen Pelly: This year I'm chair. They wanted to shake things up a bit.
- Emma Leroy: I'm twice the chair that you are! I'm almost a couch!
- Oscar Leroy: Why can't I have a ride in your truck? Clint Eastwood had a monkey in his truck.
- Tiny Joe: Real truckers don't have monkeys, friend, not in the cab. They could be transporting monkeys, but, well, even that's a little farfetched.
- Oscar Leroy: Just one ride. I'll be quiet. Quieter than a monkey!
- Tiny Joe: Only truckers and clients allowed in the cab.
- Oscar Leroy: So are you saying Clint Eastwood worked for a monkey?
- Wanda Dollard: [Wanda and Hank arrive at a barbecue for Lamborghini owners] Are you saying that we're supposed to own Lamborghinis?
- Hank Yarbo: If you want to soar with the eagles, you gotta pretend to be one.
- Wanda Dollard: So you're dragging me into a potentially embarrassing web of lies?
- Hank Yarbo: Relax. There'll be food.
- Wanda Dollard: [Wanda trolls for a husband at the barbecue] A surgeon, huh? Wow! Your, uh, wife must be really proud.
- Lamborghini Owner #1: I'm divorced.
- Wanda Dollard: Really?
- Lamborghini Owner #1: She took every cent I had.
- Wanda Dollard: I was told there'd be food.
- Hank Yarbo: [about bluffing their way through the Lamborghini barbecue] We make a pretty good team.
- Wanda Dollard: I make a pretty good team. You choke like Tennessee Williams on a bottle cap.
- Hank Yarbo: Don't tell me you're still upset at me because I told a bunch of people about a Lamborghini you don't have and now they're coming here to see it. Oh. Actually, now that I said that out loud, it does sound kind of bad.
- Wanda Dollard: We should just go. We should leave town and not be here when they get here... Could you forget I said "we"?
- Lamborghini Owner #2: [Wanda and Hank take Lamborghini Owner #2 to see Wanda's "Lamborghini", i.e. something covered up by a tarpaulin] I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that's not a Lamborghini.
- Wanda Dollard: You know, sometimes things start out innocently and then just spin out of control.
- Hank Yarbo: You want to see a Lamborghini? I'll show you a Lamborghini.
- [He pulls aside the tarpaulin]
- Wanda Dollard: HOLY CRAP! A LAMBORGHINI!
- [Lamborghini Owner #2 stares at her]
- Wanda Dollard: It just always impresses me when I see it!
- Karen Pelly: [the town confronts Emma, Brent, and Karen over their lying about the number of jelly beans in the fundraising committee's jelly bean jar contest] You wanted a job done and we did it. And, yes, it was dirty and ugly, but that's how things get done in the charity world. You need people like us!
- Hank Yarbo: Look, don't worry. I got a plan. Check it out. They come out here, we shoot the breeze, and then we show them the Lamborghini.
- Wanda Dollard: What Lamborghini?
- Hank Yarbo: We get one.
- Wanda Dollard: How?
- Hank Yarbo: That's where you come in.
- Wanda Dollard: So your plan relies heavily on me having a plan?
- Hank Yarbo: What? I worked it all out. You gotta do one thing.
- Hank Yarbo: Don't tell me you're still upset because I told a buncha people about a Lamborghini you don't have and now they're all comin' out here to see it?
- [Beat]
- Hank Yarbo: Oh. I see, now that I've said that out loud, it does sound kinda bad.
- Emma Leroy: [Counting jelly beans] 187, 188, 189... are you eating them?
- Karen Pelly: ...A few.
- Emma Leroy: What's 189 minus a few?