Crow T. Robot: [watching kids dance] Hey that's the monkey.
Tom Servo: I thought that was the jerk?
Crow T. Robot: No, the jerks are doing the monkey
Mike Nelson: If her pants were any tighter, they'd be behind her. Wow.
Genius: Well, come on in.
Mike Nelson: [as dog] I can't, I'm a special effect.
Jean: Dig that nitty gritty.
Crow T. Robot: Stop slanging! What are you saying?
Crow T. Robot: The Beau Brummels!
Tom Servo: The Beau Bridges Brummels!
Crow T. Robot: The Beau Brummels Bridges of Madison County!
Fred: My old man's in the meat business in Los Angeles.
Nancy: Isn't that interesting...
Mike Nelson: Buh-bye!
Tom Servo: [seeing gumball machine on screen, cryin] HUH! MOM! Mother? Oh mother. Mommy, mommy. My roots.
TV's Frank: I have a hard time... um... communicating with people.
Tom Servo: They wanted to do "Little Women" but they can't! Ha ha ha.
Rick: Y'see Fred boy. All it takes is a little cooperation.
Crow T. Robot: And some hot rollers.
Crow T. Robot: It sounds like Shaft is coming!
Mike Nelson: Shut your mouth.
Tom Servo: [a duck is at the party] Now this is ridiculous!
Crow T. Robot: Yeah, first of all, we're assuming they paid cover.
Tom Servo: So where did they get the money?
Mike Nelson: Maybe they put it on the bill?
Mike Nelson: If it rains much more they will turn into sea monkeys.