[Joel and the bots sing "Let's Have A Patrick Swayze Christmas."]
Tom Servo: [singing] Open up your heart and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in.
Crow T. Robot: [singing] We'll gather at the roadhouse with our next of kin.
Joel Robinson: [singing] And Santa will be our regular Saturday night thing.
Tom Servo: [singing] Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year.
Crow T. Robot: [singing] Or we'll tear your throat out and kick you in the ear.
Santa Claus: We're going out the good ol' fashioned way with my reindeers!
Joel Robinson: Guns a-blazin'!
Santa Claus: Prancer and Dancer and Donder and Blitzen, and Vixen and Nixon!
Tom Servo: Eh, yeah, so, what's in the pipe, Santa?
Martian: What is Christmas?
Joel: It's a Christian holiday ruined by commercialism.
Tom Servo: [singing along with the song "Hooray for Santa Claus"] S-A-T-A-N, I mean S-A-N-T-A. Hooray for Santy Claus.