Joel, Crow, Tom: Mitchell!
Tom Servo: [as the "chase" scene begins] This... is what I'll remember when I think of the movie "Mitchell." And I *will* think of it.
Tom Servo: The Lincoln Continental: perfect for off-road excitement.
Crow T. Robot: This makes "Driving Miss Daisy" look like "Bullitt!"
Dr. Forrester: Ah, nothing like a good shower to make one feel good again, huh? I feel great! Nothing can get in the way of my good mood. What's going on, Frank?
TV's Frank: Oh, not much. Inventory's under control... floor needs mopping... Joel escaped from the Satellite of Love...
Dr. Forrester: Well, I see you got the situation well in hand... What? Joel escaped from the Satellite of Love?
TV's Frank: Well, I better get started on that floor.
Dr. Forrester: Frank, my towel and your hinder have an appointment. But first, we got to rescue Joel. Oh, no! No! Frank, he's landed safely in the Australian outback.
TV's Frank: Let's hope he landed on Yahoo Serious.
Dr. Forrester: Well, that's a good point, Frank, 'cause... Frank, can't you see we're ruined? What are we gonna do?
TV's Frank: Well, we can send someone else into space.
Dr. Forrester: Who are we gonna find at this late date to send into space?
Mike Nelson: Would you guys sign my time card?
Dr. Forrester: [Forrester and Frank exchange a look] Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
TV's Frank: Yeah, you're not gonna sign his time card, are ya?
Mike Nelson: C'mon, you gotta sign my time card.
Dr. Forrester: Of course I'll sign your time card, young man. In fact, I think you're going to be working for me for a long, long time. Push the button, Frank. Say Mike, what size jumpsuit do you wear?
Mike Nelson: Uhh...
Joel: I love pulling my gun when I come home! Scares my cats half to death!
[watching the end of 'Mitchell']
Crow T. Robot: You know, at this stage in any killing spree, you really ought to turn the gun on yourself.
Joel: Hey! Hey!
Tom Servo: [singing] Mobsters laughing, really smiling, a man selling heroin!
Tom Servo: [watching a film in which a man is shot and thrown off a boat] So long, CHUM!
Joel: Hey! It's one of the kids from Fame!
Tom Servo: Which one?
Joel: Any of 'em.
Crow T. Robot: [as police chief] Well you're rich and white. I don't see a problem with it.
Crow T. Robot: [seeing murder victim's outline] Keith Harring was here!
Joel: Oh thank goodness they merged successfully. My heart was in my throat.
Tom Servo: The new Chrysler Fury. The car that thinks it's a house!
Joel: [Mitchell wears an ugly plaid coat] Can we get some more volume on that jacket please?
Mitchell: I wanted to find out who he was.
Chief: Well ASK him, don't SHOOT him.
Chief: Who was he?
Tom Servo: I didn't ask 'im, I shot 'im.
Tom Servo: [as Mitchell] Alright John Tesh. I know you're in here!
Tom Servo: [as the irritating kid skates away from Mitchell] I'm gonna give him some distance then I'm gonna mow him over!
Gallano: Now it's your turn...
Tom Servo: [singing] To be whatta you can be...