The Booze Cruise III: The Scattering (2006 TV Movie)

Mark Benton: Dave

Quotes 

• [at the crematorium, Grace has invited all the funeral guests back to her house] 

  Leone : Are you going back?

  Cath : Yes, but not for long. We've got things to do, haven't we, Dave.

  [Cath gives Dave a coy look] 

  Dave : Yeah.

  Leone : She still got you at it, Dave?

  Dave : Oh yes.

  Cath : Don't be like that. A lot of men would kill to have as much sex as you're having.

  Dave : A lot of men would *die* having as much sex as I'm having.

  Cath : Well, it's your own fault.

  Dave : Why's it my fault?

  Cath : [to Leone]  He's got low motility.

  Leone : Oh, what's that?

  Cath : It means he's got lazy sperm.

  Dave : I haven't.

  Cath : You have.

  Dave : [shouts]  There's nothing wrong with my sperm.

  [funeral guests turn round and stare] 

  Cath : They're just like him - big lazy buggers. They should be whizzing about all over the place. Instead of which they're lying on the sofa watching Match of the Day.