Cal: What does 'pro-mis-cue-ous' mean?
Nitz: People who sleep with lots of people, Cal.
Cal: Oh phew, guy. Good thing I never sleep with any of my lady friends! We just play a little game I like to call 'unprotected sex'.
Cal: Be extra virginal. Be extra virginal.
Rocko: Shut up Cal's voice in my head.
Cal: Okay. Sorry guy.
Nitz: Kimmy showed me how to properly put on a condom. Where's the banana?
Rocko: I ate it.
Nitz: There was a condom on it.
[Putting on a date-rape skit]
Rocko: Well. Here we are. Insert actress's name. Would you like to come up to my room?
Blonde: I don't know. I don't really know you!
Rocko: You know I've got a futon and a boner! What more do you need?
Duggler: Freeze! Now what's going on here? What should... Rocko! I said freeze!
Rocko: But I haven't even copped a feel yet! What kind of crappy date-rape is this?
Stoner Dave: "How to Seduce a Woman"? No way, man! Are you on the skunk-weed? This isn't how you do it, bro!
Nitz: Well then how am I supposed to learn?
[Dave picks up a stack of videos]
Stoner Dave: "Chocolate Trouble", "Sweet Lady Cane", "Fists of Dynamite", "Lips of Love", "Sir Pimps-A-Lot", and my personal favorite, "Black Jackson", mutha!
[after a floor meeting about campus sexual activity]
Jessie: Like anyone would want to ask The Duggler about sex. My mom talks about sex more maturely. And she uses words like "pee-pee" and "bunny-hole."
Nurse: In order to get properly tested, we ask that you abstain from having sex.
Cal: For a whole HOUR?
Nurse: No, for a couple of days.
Cal: Oh phew, you scared me for a second.
Duggler: I've read all of the pamphlets thoroughly so if you have any questions my door is always opened.
Rocko: I've got a question. Why are you such a wad?
Duggler: [Short pause] I do not hear you, I do not see you, I will not let you get into the Duggler's head with your bring-downs.
Jessie: Rocko had a girlfriend? Was she mentally challenged or like a man or something?
[Rocko scowls at her]
Jessie: Okay, for the sake of conversation, let's say your ex wasn't a total whack-job. Why did you break up?
Rocko: It's sorta complicated.
[flashback to prom]
Rocko: Uh, I know it's prom and all, buuut... I'm breaking up with you so I can get laid by tons of chicks when I go to college. Oh yeah, happy birthday!
[Watching the porn videos]
Tyrie: Watch your ass, Chocolate!
Chocolate: Ooh, what's the matter, Tyrie? You not man enough to watch it for me?
[More people sit down and start watching]
Woman: I got your number, Black Jackson!
Jackson: Ding! Now serving 28 baby, and 1 size does fit all!
[the room begins to fill]
Sir Pimps-A-Lot: I ain't neva see that slut in my life!
Chocolate: Well maybe this will refresh your memory, Pimps-a-lot!
Nitz: Man. That Chocolate Sauce is nothin but sweet-ass trouble.
Stoner Dave: Oh yeah, you got that right.
Cal: Sexy Miss Scully. I wonder if she ever had gonorrhea?
Cal: I won't let you do it, best-pal-guy! I won't let you throw away your life for sex!
Nitz: Move upside and let the man come through.
Cal: Okay. Watch out for DVDs, guy.
Nitz: She's so pure and good. Don't you see, she's like the Virgin Kimmy!
Rocko: Stop talking all this virgin crap and help me find a slut.
Gimpy: Why aren't you guys looking at my Scully screensaver? Look at it! Look at it!
Nitz: We've seen it, Gimpy.
Gimpy: But only with your eyes, and not your heart.
Gimpy: After days of researching, cross-referencing, being in the most hardcore of hardcore chatrooms, seeing things no man should ever see, I have proven that Mulder and Scully never slept together, not before, not during, not after any of the X-Files episodes or movies.
Nitz: Well, what about that episode where Fox hooks up with Scully on that ocean liner in that alternate dimension?
Gimpy: [infuriated] Alternate dimensions don't count!
Rocko: I'm not even a virgin. I just said that to get into your pants!
Nitz: I must find out about women. What makes them tick. Their likes and dislikes. And how to make sweet, sweet love to them all night long.
Gimpy: The hell?
Nitz: A kiss on the cheek from Kimmy Burton is worth a thousand nights in the sack with any other girl.
Nitz: Yes Cal. Even Rosie O'Donnell.
Rocko: So, wanna have sex?
Jessie: You tried that one yesterday, Einstein.
Rocko: Oh sorry. All chicks look alike to me.
Rocko: [Drunk on the phone] So, I think we should get back together. Dumping you was a big mistake. A big, big...
[Takes a swig of some liquor, belches]
Rocko: Oh you're so friggin' sexy. You have the rounded, sweetest, most incredible...
The Ex's Mom: [Sound of a phone being picked up] Rocko? Why are you calling my daughter at this hour? Do you have any idea what time it is?
Rocko: No. Do you?
The Ex's Mom: Whatever you have to tell her can certainly wait until this weekend when she's down there visiting State U.
The Ex: Mom, hang up the phone! Hang up! Rocko, are you high?
Rocko: Depends on what you're wearing.
The Ex: Stop calling me and leaving drunk messages on my machine, jackass!
Rocko: [She hangs up. Rocko calls her back] Uhh, could you put your mom back on the phone? She sounded kinda sexy.