"Torchwood" Everything Changes (TV Episode 2006) Poster

(TV Series)

(2006)

John Barrowman: Captain Jack Harkness

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John Barrowman in Torchwood (2006) John Barrowman, Naoko Mori, Burn Gorman, and Gareth David-Lloyd in Torchwood (2006) John Barrowman, Naoko Mori, Eve Myles, and Indira Varma in Torchwood (2006) John Barrowman and Burn Gorman in Torchwood (2006) John Barrowman, Naoko Mori, and Burn Gorman in Torchwood (2006) John Barrowman in Torchwood (2006) John Barrowman in Torchwood (2006) John Barrowman and Gareth David-Lloyd in Torchwood (2006) John Barrowman in Torchwood (2006) John Barrowman in Torchwood (2006) John Barrowman in Torchwood (2006) John Barrowman in Torchwood (2006) John Barrowman, Naoko Mori, Indira Varma, and Burn Gorman in Torchwood (2006) John Barrowman in Torchwood (2006)

Quotes 

  • Captain Jack Harkness : And before we go any further, who the hell orders pizza under the name of Torchwood?

    Owen Harper : Uh yeah, that would be me, sorry I'm a twat.

  • Captain Jack Harkness : There you go. I can taste it. Oestrogen. Definitely oestrogen. You take the pill, flush it away, it enters the water cycle, feminises the fish. Goes all the way up into the sky, then falls all the way back down onto me. Contraceptives in the rain. Love this planet. Still, at least I won't get pregnant. Never doing that again.

  • Gwen Cooper : So go on then. How the hell did you end up in Cardiff?

    Captain Jack Harkness : This is Torchwood Three. Torchwood One was London, destroyed in the battle. Torchwood Two is an office in Glasgow, very strange man. Torchwood Three, Cardiff. Torchwood Four's kind of gone missing but we'll find it one day.

  • Gwen Cooper : The thing is, I just don't understand...

    Captain Jack Harkness : No, I tell you what I don't understand, you're going to rattle on with that "how can this be true" kinda shtick. What's it gonna take for you people? If you want evidence of aliens, how about that great big spaceship hovering over London on Christmas day? What about the battle of Canary Wharf, a Cyberman in every home?

    Gwen Cooper : My boyfriend says it's like a sort of terrorism, that they'd put drugs in the water supplies, psychotropic drugs causing mass hallucinations and stuff.

    Captain Jack Harkness : Yeah, well your boyfriend's stupid.

    Gwen Cooper : Oh, you've met him.

  • Gwen Cooper : Owen and Toshiko, you didn't tell them that you were shot in the head and survived.

    Captain Jack Harkness : You didn't tell them either. Followed my lead. Keep doing that, you might just get through this.

    Gwen Cooper : But she killed you!

    Captain Jack Harkness : I can't die.

    Gwen Cooper : Ok!

    Captain Jack Harkness : But I can't. Something happened to me a while back. Long story and far away. But I was killed, and I was brought back to life, and since then, I can't die.

    Gwen Cooper : But how...?

    Captain Jack Harkness : I don't know. One day I'll find a doctor, the right sort of doctor, and maybe he can explain it, but until then...

    Gwen Cooper : Nothing kills you?

    Captain Jack Harkness : Well, it kinda freaks people out. Best if you don't say anything.

  • Gwen Cooper : And who are you, then?

    Captain Jack Harkness : Captain Jack Harkness.

    Gwen Cooper : I did some research. And there's only one Captain Jack Harkness on record and he disappeared in 1941.

    Captain Jack Harkness : Well, that couldn't be me... Could it?

  • Gwen Cooper : But... but they can see the lift! Why aren't they, I mean... we are right out in the open, they can see everything!

    Captain Jack Harkness : Do they look like they can see us?

    Gwen Cooper : No, but look at us! We couldn't be any more public!

    Captain Jack Harkness : [calling to passers-by]  Hello! Hey, you there, hello!

    [to Gwen] 

    Captain Jack Harkness : It's called the perception filter. He can sort of see us, but we don't quite register, just like something in the corner of your eye. It only works on this exact spot. Step off... hi! Nice night. Ooh, hello we are perceived.

    Gwen Cooper : How does it work?

    Captain Jack Harkness : No idea. We know how to use it, not how it happens, but if I were to guess, I would say that there was once a dimensionally transcendental chameleon circuit placed right on this spot which welded its perception properties to a spacio-temporal rift. But that sounds kinda ridiculous. Invisible lift has got more of a ring to it, don't'cha think?

  • Captain Jack Harkness : [introducing Gwen to the Torchwood members]  Owen Harper, Gwen Cooper.

    Owen Harper : Dr. Owen Harper, thank you.

    Captain Jack Harkness : Toshiko Sato, computer genius. Suzie Costello, she's second in command. And this is Ianto Jones. Ianto cleans up after us and gets us everywhere on time.

    Ianto Jones : I try my best.

    Captain Jack Harkness : And he looks good in a suit.

    Ianto Jones : [smiling]  Careful. That's harassment, sir.

  • Gwen Cooper : So, you catch aliens?

    Captain Jack Harkness : Yep.

    Gwen Cooper : You catch aliens for a living.

    Captain Jack Harkness : Yes, we do.

    Gwen Cooper : You're an alien catcher.

    Captain Jack Harkness : Yes, I am.

    Gwen Cooper : Caught any good aliens?

    Captain Jack Harkness : Tons of them.

    Gwen Cooper : That's a hell of a job.

    Captain Jack Harkness : [chuckling]  Sure is.

  • Captain Jack Harkness : How's your drink?

    Gwen Cooper : Have you poisoned me?

    Captain Jack Harkness : Don't be so dramatic. It's an amnesia pill. My own recipe with a touch of denial and a dash of retcon. Wake up tomorrow morning and you'll have forgotten everything about Torchwood. Worse still, you'll have forgotten me. Which is kind of tragic.

  • Owen Harper : Shit. I said it was stupid, telling him he was dead.

    Toshiko Sato : Well, you try it!

    Owen Harper : Trust me, like that's going to work!

    Captain Jack Harkness : Told the last corpse he was injured. He wasted the whole two minutes screaming for an ambulance.

  • Captain Jack Harkness : We know how to use it, not how it happens, but if I were to guess, I would say that there was once a dimensionally trancendental chameleon circuit placed right on this spot, which welded its perception properties to a spatial-temporal rift. But that sounds kind of ridiculous. Invisible lift has got more of a ring to it, don't you think?

  • Captain Jack Harkness : We don't just catch aliens. We scavenge the stuff they leave behind, find ways of using it, arming the human race for the future. The 21st century's when it all changes, and you gotta be ready.

    Gwen Cooper : But who's in charge of you? Is it the government, or what?

    Captain Jack Harkness : We're separate from the government, outside the police, beyond the United Nations. Cause if one power got hold of this stuff, they could use it for their own purposes.

  • Gwen Cooper : You bastard!

    Captain Jack Harkness : [completely unoffended]  Likely...

  • Captain Jack Harkness : There you go. I can taste it. Oestrogen. Definitely oestrogen. You take the pill, flush it away, it enters the water cycle, feminizes the fish. Goes all the way up into the sky, then falls all the way back down onto me. Contraceptives in the rain. Love this planet. Still, at least I won't get pregnant. Never doing that again...

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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