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"Family Guy" I Take Thee, Quagmire (TV Episode 2006) Poster

(TV Series)

(2006)

Quotes

Peter Griffin: You know, this may not be cool, just throwing it out there, she *was* suicidal.

Death: Really?

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Founding Father 1: All right, we're done.

Founding Father 2: You think the language in the second amendment is clear enough? You know, about the right to bare arms?

Founding Father 3: Of course it's clear, every American has the right to hang a pair of bear arms on their wall. How could that possibly be misconstrued?

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Glen Quagmire: I gotta find a way out of this marriage. Cleveland, how did you get out of yours?

Cleveland Brown: You slept with my wife.

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Glen Quagmire: [noticing the ring on his finger at his reception] Giggity giggity GOD, I made a terrible mistake!

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Cleveland Brown: Hey, Quagmire, is that a banana in your pocket or an erection in your pocket?

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Stewie Griffin: I'm as pathetic as the fat man when he tries to read.

[Lois and Peter are seen reading something on the sofa]

Stewie Griffin: Hey, Lois, what's this word?

Lois Griffin: "Evel..."

Peter Griffin: And this one?

Lois Griffin: "... Knievel..."

Peter Griffin: And this one?

Lois Griffin: "... was..."

Peter Griffin: And this one?

Lois Griffin: "... born..."

Peter Griffin: And this one?

Lois Griffin: "... in..."

Peter Griffin: And this one?

Lois Griffin: "... Montana."

Peter Griffin: Hey, Lois, did you know that Evel Knievel was born in Montana?

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Stewie Griffin: By the way, you call those cheap implants boobs? They're not boobs! They're LIES!

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Brian Griffin: Well, I guess that's not the weirdest thing I've ever seen on a gameshow. Remember that time Mayor Adam West appeared on Jeopardy?

Alex Trebek: Alright players, the answer is, "It was the first spacecraft on the surface of Mars." Adam, what was your response?

[West reveals that he has written "Kebert Xela" as his answer]

Alex Trebek: Kebert Xela.

[There is a flash of light, and Trebek vanishes with a scream. The other contestants look shocked]

Mayor Adam West: Only saying his name backwards can send him back to the Fifth Dimension, where he belongs.

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Lois Griffin: [trying to wean Stewie off breast milk] Tonight we're going to try formula instead.

[Stewie sucks on the bottle, but immediately spits the contents out]

Stewie Griffin: Ugh! That's more disgusting than when Peter went through that Daisy Dukes phase.

[cutaway; Brian and Stewie are on the couch, when Peter enters dressed like Daisy Duke]

Peter Griffin: So, who's up for some hoops at the park, huh? Oh, there you are. Come here, you basketball.

[Peter bends over and his shorts ride up his butt crack; Brian and Stewie cover their eyes and groan in disgust]

Brian Griffin: It's like a walrus flossing.

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Stewie Griffin: You call those cheap implants "boobs"? They're LIES!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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