- [the three J's just bought a self-published fashion magazine from Quinn]
- Joey: "An Ode to Aubergine?"
- Jamie: "A Good Pluck?"
- Jeffy: "Please Remember to Blush?"
- Jane Lane: There must be a lot going on in the boys' room that we don't know about.
- Daria Morgendorffer: And really, that's as it should be.
- Jodie Abigail Landon: Hey, Daria, congratulations. A published story, that's amazing.
- [Kevin and Brittany approach them]
- Daria Morgendorffer: Um, it's not exactly published. I sent it in, but I haven't heard back.
- Kevin Thompson: Then why are you telling everybody that it's been published?
- Jane Lane: Oh, you know Daria and her compulsive need to impress.
- Brittany Taylor: Oh. But then instead of making up stuff about writing, shouldn't you pick something good?
- Daria Morgendorffer: How's this? During the day, I'm a mild-mannered student. But at night, I fight crime in a stretchy-stretchy costume.
- Jake Morgendorffer: Dammit! Why do they have to make the eye of the needle so darn small?
- Daria Morgendorffer: I guess to piss off the camel.