[SpongeBob appears on the horizon]
Sandy Cheeks: Here, Patrick. Have a Krabby Patty.
Sandy Cheeks: Psst. There he is Patrick, say your line.
Patrick: [picks up paper] Why thank you, Sandy. Take Patty. Too bad SpongeBob isn't here to enjoy this. These are his favorite.
[on the verge of tears]
Patrick: Take bite.
Sandy Cheeks: Hey, SpongeBob. Whatcha doing? Are you having a garage sale?
SpongeBob: No. I'm giving up my material possessions to live a more natural life among the jellyfish.
Sandy Cheeks: SpongeBob, Of all the crazy schemes. Why do you want to live with jellyfish? They're cold and mean and none too bright.
SpongeBob: Oh, Sandy. That is exactly the kind of response I expect from someone who lives the sham of a life I once led. I'm going to prove I don't need any of this stuff to be happy. Maybe someday you'll wise up and join me. Goodbye.
[Takes off pants]
SpongeBob: I won't be needing this.
[Runs off naked, buzzing]
Squidward: He took off his pants.
Sandy Cheeks: I'll give him a week.
Squidward: I'll give him eleven minutes.
[They both leave; Patrick stays behind]
Patrick Star: [Crying] Patrick sad!
SpongeBob: Hello, Squidward. Oops... I mean, goodbye, Squidward. Aw, isn't Opposite Day... terrible?
SpongeBob: Aha! I understand everything now. I must be the opposite of SpongeBob by being...
[Pulls on his nose to make it droopy and ties his belt around his head]
Patrick Star: Hey, I wanna be opposite too.
[SpongeBob puts a fake nose on Patrick]
Patrick Star: Yeah, finally! I'm Squidward! I'm Squidward! Squidward, Squidward, Squidward!
SpongeBob: Patrick, it's not enough to look like Squidward to be opposite.
SpongeBob: [speaks like Squidward] You have to act like him, too. Boy, oh, boy. Do I like playing the clarinet. I practice and practice all day long, but I never get any better. Now you try it.
Patrick Star: Okay.
[Takes deep breath]
Patrick Star: I'm Squidward, I'm Squidward, Squidward, Squidward!
Squidward: Opposite Day. Next time it's gonna be Go Jump Off a Cliff Day.
Patrick Star: Opposite Day? Hey, I've heard of that.
SpongeBob: You have?
Patrick Star: No, what is it?
Patrick: [Crazy] If I can't have you as a friend, I'm gonna make you a trophy. I even picked out this nice jar for you.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Gary! It's Opposite Day and I'm - Walk, don't run - and I'm going to - Opposite. Opposite - I'm just going to crawl into bed and do nothing all day. Too bad it only comes once a year. Huh, Gary?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Gary! Where's your holiday spirit?
SpongeBob: And Squidward, I want you to have this can opener.
Squidward: And I thought this friendship would never pay off.
Sandy Cheeks: [Placing bets on how long it will take Spongebob to become discouraged by the jellyfish] I give him a week.
Squidward: I give him eleven minutes.
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you wouldn't last one day in the wild.
[Points to kitchen]
Mr. Krabs: This is your natural habitat.
[Points to stove]
Mr. Krabs: This is your wide-open range.
[Points to deep fryers]
Mr. Krabs: These are your amber waves.
[Takes a spatula out of the sink]
Mr. Krabs: And this... oh, this is your golden scepter with which you rule! Now that's better than nasty old jellyfish. Right, SpongeBob?
Mr. Krabs: This is the fourth time this week I had to scrape you off of something.