Jackson Stewart: I had to get out of there fast because it was dark and there were all kinds of things biting me. I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up tomorrow with super-spidey powers!
[makes hands into web-shooters and pretends to be Spider-man]
Miley Stewart: Got any questions?
Lilly Truscott: A couple. First, What the hecky is a herkey? And second, if one of these is a pom-pom, does that make 2 of them pom-pom pom-poms? These are the questions that haunt me.
Jackson Stewart: [talking to Oliver] Man, it was a little water and some unidentifiable sludge. Get a tetanus shot and buck up little camper.
Plumber: Son, you have the plumber's gift. My son had it to, but he decided to go to college. Kids, they'll break your heart.
Lilly Truscott: You're going to ditch the Rolling Stones concert for me?
Miley Stewart: Please, those guys will still be touring when they're ninety!
Lilly Truscott: I thought they were ninety?
Oliver Oken: [Over sports announcement system] 555-0127 That's 555-0127. That's my number ladies the tenth caller gets a date with Moi.
Miley Stewart: If this thing had a plank... YOU'D BE WALKING IT!
Miley Stewart: Come On! You can get this... we won't regret this... we'll be together... best friends together!
Lilly Truscott: When you cheer this way, I have to say ok... I know you must be right... but know i have
[looks at crowd]
Lilly Truscott: stagefright.
Miley Stewart: [during tryouts] And slide and slide... and do the butterfly... and dip and dip... and shake my little hips... I want you and you... to cheer it with me too!
Lilly Truscott: [during tryouts] You may be good at football... you may be good at track... but when it come to basketball... you might as well step back.
Jackson Stewart: [singing in the tune of 'Pumpin Up The Party' and shaking his butt while trying to fix the sink] Hey/ Come on/ Get out/I'm sneaking out the pipes now/Hey/Come on...
Oliver Oken: Hey uh Jackson? Where's Miley?
Jackson Stewart: Don't know.
Oliver Oken: When's she gonna be back?
Jackson Stewart: Don't care.
Oliver Oken: Could you tell her I stopped by?
Jackson Stewart: Don't count on it.