Fry: The Breakfast Club soundtrack? Oh, I can't wait until I'm old enough to feel ways about stuff.
[Fry's just been born]
Doctor: It's a boy. And look at that red hair.
Yancy Fry Sr.: [angry] You sayin' my boy is a Commie?
Fry: Holy camolie! The house I grew up in. It's still there.
Bender: Man, Father Time really took a bat to this place.
[Fry's mother is giving birth]
Yancy Fry Sr.: You can do it, honey. Squeeze one out for America.
[At the horse races]
Hermes Conrad: Come on, baby needs a new pair of shoes.
Dr. Zoidberg: The hell with your spoiled baby. I need those shoes.
Bender: Apparently this brave Adonis, this Cadillac of men, was the first person on Mars.
Fry: First person on Mars? I should have been the first person on Mars! He stole my clover, he stole my name, and he stole my life!
Fry: And now he broke my hand!
Bender: His legend lives on.
[the group's at a horse race]
Fry: C'mon. C'mon. Hey, Leela, how about a kiss for good luck?
[Leela gives him a quick peck on the cheek]
Fry: [disappointed] I meant tongue luck.
Leela: They buried your brother in the World Heroes Section? Impressive.
Fry: [jealous] *I* should be the one in that grave.
[Bender and Leela are in a cemetery]
Bender: Grab a shovel. I'm one skull short of a Mouseketeer reunion.
[Leela and Hermes are at a concession stand at the track]
Horse D'ourves Salesman: Get your piping hot horse burgers, horse fries, horse cakes and shakes. We got tongue, straight from the horse's mouth.
Hermes Conrad: It all sounds good.
Horse D'ourves Salesman: All our horses are 100% horse-fed for that double-horse "juiced-in" goodness.
Leela: I'll have the cholesterol-free omelet with horse-beaters.
Horse D'ourves Salesman: And you, sir? How can I horse you?
Hermes Conrad: I'll have a horse Coke.
Horse D'ourves Salesman: Horse Pepsi okay?
Hermes Conrad: Neeeiiiggghh.
Leela: [reading tombstone] It says, "Philip Fry, the original martian."
Fry: That's a lie, every word of it! He wasn't original, he wasn't a martian, he wasn't Philip Fry! And since when is he a the?
Bender: You're twice the the he ever was.
Fry: It's gone! The whole place's cleaned out! Yancy stole my clover! That thief!
Leela: How do you know it didn't disintegrate?
Fry: Everything else held up okay.
Bender: Except for "Sports" by Huey Lewis.
Bender: Bending's my middle name.
Fry: It is?
Bender: Yep. My full name is Bender Bending Rodriguez.
[Bender gets on the subway tracks, Fry and Leela climb on]
Bender: This is the Brooklyn bound B-train , making local stops at wherever the hell I feel like. Watch for the closing doors. Bim-bum!
Fry: This was our storage closet. My Dad spent years turning it into a bomb shelter.
Leela: [sadly] And yet you guys never had a single nuclear war.
Bender: [sadly] What a waste.
Fry: That clover helped my rat-faced brother steal my dream of going into space. Now I'll never get there.
Leela: You went there this morning for doughnuts.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Shut up friends. My internet browser heard us saying the word Fry and it found a movie about Philip J. Fry for us. It also opened my calendar to Friday and ordered me some french fries.
Yancy Fry Jr: [Yancy is wearing a camouflage-colored tuxedo] Thanks for lending me your tux dad. It'll be perfect for my wedding.
Yancy Fry Sr.: Yancy, that tux got me through 'Nam in style.
Documentary Announcer: After a whirlwind fling with Icelandic supermodel Njörd, Fry scored a sting of top 10 hits with his rock band Leaf Seven, known for their hypnotic rhythms, driving baselines and memorable hooks.
Fry: That's what I'm known for!
[Fry falls headfirst into a garbage bin outside a kitchen]
Horse D'ourves Salesman: That is one unlucky guy.
[Tips a bucket of fish guts over him]
Yancy Fry Jr: The Breakfast Club soundtrack. This should clear the room after the reception.
Bender: There, now no one will be able to say I don't own John Larroquette's spine.
Fry: Gosh, my old neighborhood. That's the bench where I found some shirts. That fire hydrant. On summers we'd light it on fire. On that corner, some guy with a bushy beard handed out a socialist newsletter.
Bender: Was it poorly Xeroxed?
Fry: You better believe it.
Leela: The old comedians were right. This place is a lot different from L.A.
Dr. Zoidberg: So the clover is still in the hiding place, maybe?
Fry: Hey, yeah! Maybe it's still there, underground in the ruins of Old New York, helping some ant defeat another ant, or helping some piece of dirt turn its luck around.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Dirt doesn't need luck.
Bender: Old New York, the city that inspired a casino in Las Vegas.
Breakdancing Teacher: Fry, if I ever see you try anything that crazy again... this crew might just have some new parachute pants!
Leela: [to Bender, who is whistling and counting money] Well, someone's in a good mode.
Bender: Let's just say I lucked out at the track. Also, I rigged one race.
Bender: [after digging up the grave] I got his wedding ring. Sorry ladies I'm taken.
Bender: Hey Fry, while I'm down here you want me to smack up the corpse a little?
Fry: I may not know much about horses, but I know a lot about doing anything for one dollar.
Fry: Dear Horse God, I know I don't usually pray to you. Sometimes I doubt you even exist, but if you're willing to grant me luck... please... stamp your hoof once.
Documentary Narrator: After a whirlwind fling with Icelandic supermodel Njord, Fry scored a string of top 10 hits, with his rock band Leaf Seven.
Race Announcer: It's a dead heat! They're checking the electron microscope. And the winner is number three in a quantum finish!
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!
Leela: They buried your brother in the Heroes section? I'm impressed.
Fry: [angry] I should be the one in that grave!
Fry: [salutes the guards, Leela also salutes and Bender hits himself in the head with the shovel]
Young Yancy Fry Jr.: I wanna be Philip. Me Philip. Me Philip.
Yancy Fry Sr.: Son, your name is Yancy, just like me, and my grandfather, and so on, all the way back to Minuteman Yancy Fry, who blasted Commies in the American Revolution.
Fry: [on the ruins of Old New York] We've got Manhattan all to ourselves. I'm going to do all the crazy things I always dreamed of doing.
[stands up on a newspaper dispenser]
Fry: Howard Stern is overrated! He he he!
[goes to a public phone and unhooks the receiver]
Bender: New York is so burned.
Fry: And remember when mayor Guiliani cracked down on jaywalking?
Fry: Well, Rudy, how do you like this action?
[starts to cross the street when a giant lizard runs him over]
Fry: [Playing basketball with Yancy] Kareem may have the sky hook, but Philip J. Fry has the space hook!
[shoots ball and misses]
Yancy Fry Jr: Yancy drives, he goes up with his patented space hook!
[Shoots ball and it goes through the hoop]
Fry: Hey, that's my patented space hook! You stole it!
Yancy Fry Jr: You're not the president of it!