Eduardo: To win, we will need a very special dance. La Tango de la Muerte!
Lisabella: Only one man has ever been foolish enough to attempt that dance, and he is dead!
Eduardo: My twin brother, Freduardo. But where he died, I shall live - in his apartment.
[They dance La Tango de la Muerte and survive]
Eduardo: You are now carrying my child.
Lisabella: But how?
Eduardo: It is the mystery of the dance.
Optometrist: [Homer is trying on glasses] That pair's popular with celebrities like Val Kilmer...
Homer: Ooh, my favorite Door.
Optometrist: ...and Yoko Ono.
Homer: Eww, she ruined the Plastic Ono Band!
Optometrist: Maybe you're a candidate for laser eye surgery.
Homer: Will it get me out of having to choose glasses?
Optometrist: Well, yes, but I must warn you it's an experimental procedure we still don't know the long-term effects...
Homer: [pointing the laser at his eye] Less yappin', more zappin'!
Lisa Simpson: Little Vicki, I figured out how to dance. I can be in the show now!
Vicki Valentine: I'm sorry, Lisa. People go to a children's dance recital expecting a certain level of professionalism.
Ralph Wiggum: But, but you don't understand... I ate too much plastic candy.
Vicki Valentine: Heavens to Betsy, the star of the show is sick! Whatever will we do? There's only one person who can get us out of this pickle. Lisa?
Lisa Simpson: Yes?
Vicki Valentine: Help me into Ralph's costume.
Vicki Valentine: Okay, kids, tonight's the big night. Now remember, the important thing is to just dance flawlessly.
Lisa Simpson: Excuse me... Why isn't my name in the program.
Vicki Valentine: It is, silly. You've got the most important part of all. Curtain puller? No one can see the show if the curtain isn't open!
Lisa Simpson: But my parents are counting on seeing me dance! And I've worked ever so hard.
Vicki Valentine: I'm sorry, Lisa. But giving everyone an equal part when they're clearly not equal, is called what again, class?
Vicki Valentine: Okay, curtain puller, this is your moment to shine. Oh, it's too important. I'll do it for you.