The Simpsons (TV Series)

Last Tap Dance in Springfield (2000)

Tress MacNeille: Agnes Skinner, Optometrist, Vicki Valentine

Photos 

Quotes 

• Vicki Valentine : Okay, curtain puller, this is your moment to shine. Oh, it's too important. I'll do it for you.

• Optometrist : [Homer is trying on glasses]  That pair's popular with celebrities like Val Kilmer...

  Homer : Ooh, my favorite Door.

  Optometrist : ...and Yoko Ono.

  Homer : Eww, she ruined the Plastic Ono Band!

  Optometrist : Maybe you're a candidate for laser eye surgery.

  Homer : Will it get me out of having to choose glasses?

  Optometrist : Well, yes, but I must warn you it's an experimental procedure we still don't know the long-term effects...

  Homer : [pointing the laser at his eye]  Less yappin', more zappin'!

• Lisa Simpson : Little Vicki, I figured out how to dance. I can be in the show now!

  Vicki Valentine : I'm sorry, Lisa. People go to a children's dance recital expecting a certain level of professionalism.

  Ralph Wiggum : But, but you don't understand... I ate too much plastic candy.

  Vicki Valentine : Heavens to Betsy, the star of the show is sick! Whatever will we do? There's only one person who can get us out of this pickle. Lisa?

  Lisa Simpson : Yes?

  Vicki Valentine : Help me into Ralph's costume.

• Vicki Valentine : Okay, kids, tonight's the big night. Now remember, the important thing is to just dance flawlessly.

  Lisa Simpson : Excuse me... Why isn't my name in the program.

  Vicki Valentine : It is, silly. You've got the most important part of all. Curtain puller? No one can see the show if the curtain isn't open!

  Lisa Simpson : But my parents are counting on seeing me dance! And I've worked ever so hard.

  Vicki Valentine : I'm sorry, Lisa. But giving everyone an equal part when they're clearly not equal, is called what again, class?

  Class : Communism!

• Optometrist : Okay, let's get started.

  [turning off the lights, she hears him snoring] 

  Optometrist : Hey, wake up!

  Homer Simpson : What do you...? Oh, sorry.

  Optometrist : Now, read the first line.

  Homer Simpson : "I ate pee pee."

  [writing "I 8 PP", Bart laughs] 

  Homer Simpson : [strangling him]  Why, you little...!

  Optometrist : [switching lenses]  Better or worse?

  Homer Simpson : Worse!

  Optometrist : [switching them again]  Better or worse?

  Homer Simpson : *Much* better!