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Memorable quotes for
"Futurama" Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love? (2000)

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: We - by which I mean you - will have to rush him to his ancient home world, which will soon erupt in an orgy of invertebrate sex.
Fry: Oh, baby! I'm THERE!
Leela: Fry, do you even understand the word "invertebrate"?
Fry: Nope, but that's not the word I'm interested in.

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[Dr. Zoidberg is preparing to look for a mate]
Dr. Zoidberg: How do I look?
Bender: Like whale barf.
Dr. Zoidberg: Then the illusion is complete.

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[Zoidberg is trying to attract a mate]
Dr. Zoidberg: [screeching] Craw.
Female: Keep your jelly away from my eggs.
Dr. Zoidberg: [screeching] Craw.
Female: [Valley Girl accent] I'm SO not interested.
Dr. Zoidberg: [screeching] Craw?
Female: [Black woman accent] Hmph. I've heard THAT line before.

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[Zoidberg is unsuccessful in attracting a mate]
Leela: Why is Zoidberg the only one still alone?
Bender: Because he's a loser, that's why. He's the lobster equivalent of Fry.

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Edna: I heard you went off and became a rich doctor.
Dr. Zoidberg: [proudly] I've performed a few mercy killings.

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[Fry is being Zoidberg's Cyrano]
Fry: Start with a compliment. Tell her she looks thin.
Dr. Zoidberg: [calling to Edna] You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from internal parasites?
Edna: [pleased] Why, yes. Thanks for noticing.

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Fry: I just came to tell you Zoidberg is great. He's got male jelly coming out the wazoo.
Edna: Well, that IS where it comes out...

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[Edna, one of Zoidberg's species, is chasing Fry romantically]
Edna: Teach me to love, you squishy poet from beyond the stars.
Fry: [horrified] I'm flattered, really. If I was gonna do it with a big freaky mud bug, you'd be way up the list.
Edna: Hush, you romantic fool. Engage your mandibles and kiss me.

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[Zoidberg has caught Fry in bed with Edna, a lobster alien]
Dr. Zoidberg: [enraged] Fry. I challenge you to "clawplach".
Fry: English, please?
Dr. Zoidberg: A fight to the death.
Edna: And if you survive, we'll make sweet love.
[Fry pauses to think it over, then screams]

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Fry: Okay, you're on a date. What's the first thing you do?
Dr. Zoidberg: Ask her to mate with me.
Fry: No, tell her she's special.
Dr. Zoidberg: But she's not, she's merely the female with the largest clutch of eggs.
Fry: Well, tell her that. And then?
Dr. Zoidberg: Then mating.
Fry: No, make up some feelings and tell her you have them.
[Dr. Zoidberg raises his hand]
Fry: Yes?
Dr. Zoidberg: Is desire to mate a feeling?
Fry: Ugh, you're not even trying.
Dr. Zoidberg: Ohhh, it's all so complicated, with the flowers, and the romance, and the lies upon lies.

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Fry: So you have to choose between life without sex and a hideous, gruesome death?
Dr. Zoidberg: Yes.
Fry: Tough call.

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[Fry enters naked into a steam room where Amy and Leela are bathing]
Fry: Co-ed steam rooms. I LOVE the future.
Leela: Uh, Fry, you're in the women's steam room.
Fry: Ahhh. Fu-tur-istic.
Amy Wong: [indicating Fry's crotch] Psst. Look what life was like before genetic engineering.
Leela: Those poor 20th century women.

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Amy Wong: And Bender, your beer belly is so big your door won't even close - and that doesn't even make sense.

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Amy Wong: Fool me seven times, shame on you. Fool me eight or more times, shame on me.

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Leela: No offense, Fry, but you've become a fat sack of crap.
Fry: [offended] Sack?

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Dr. Zoidberg: This "love" intrigues me. Teach me to fake it.

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Dr. Zoidberg: I'm confused, Fry. I'm feeling a strange new emotion I have never felt before. Is it love when you care for a female for reasons beyond mating?
Fry: Nope. Must be some weird, alien emotion.

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Bender: [finishing his beer] Ah, Jeez, let's just pray I have the energy to get myself another beer.

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Fry: My fellow fish monsters, far be it for me to question your stupid civilization or its dumb customs, but is squeezing each other's brains out with a giant nutcracker really going to solve anything? Dr. Zoidberg is my friend, and though a woman has come between us, I say we'll always remain friends. You know why? For one reason...
[Dr. Zoidberg cuts off Fry's arm]
Fry: You bastard! I'll kill you! You bastard!
[begins hitting Zoidberg with his severed arm]

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Leela: Come on, Fry! Die with dignity!

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Dr. Zoidberg: The frenzy is over. How am I going to get rid of my male jelly now?
Fry: [Waves dismembered arm] I'll lend you this.

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Bender: Fry, I've never asked you for anything before, but, if it's not too much trouble, when you get to the ninth round, just let him win.
Fry: But it's a fight to the death!
Bender: Oh, so this is suddenly all about you! Sheesh!

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Dr. Zoidberg: Fry, it's been years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species, fatal or non-fatal?

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Leela: Dr. Zoidberg, this is madness! You're being irrational!
Dr. Zoidberg: Of course I'm being irrational! I'm in love!
Leela: Aww.

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Fry: Don't worry. The Lovemeister will take you under his wing.
Dr. Zoidberg: What? Now there's a bird involved?

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Dr. Zoidberg: I used to hang out here as a larva. It looked so much bigger back then.
[picks up a hermit crab]
Dr. Zoidberg: Who's the tough guy now, Vinnie?
[eats crab]

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Fry: Look how ridiculous they look.
Bender: Please! He's no different from the rest of you organisms. Shooting DNA at each other to make babies. I find it offensive!

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Leela: It's amazing that your people can fall in love so fast.
Dr. Zoidberg: Love? That word is unknown here. I'm just looking for a female swollen with eggs who will accept my genetic material.
Fry: You and me both, brother!

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Fry: [Fry is telling Zoidberg what to say to Edna, a female] Tell her you just want to talk, it has nothing to do with mating!
Dr. Zoidberg: [calling] I just want to talk, it has nothing to do with mating!
[to Fry]
Dr. Zoidberg: Fry, that doesn't make sense!
Edna: [calling] Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn't make sense! But OK.

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Fry: People of Decapod 10, far be it from me to criticize your stupid civilization or its dumb customs...!

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