Edit
"Two and a Half Men" The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance (TV Episode 2004) Poster

Quotes

[last lines]

Charlie Harper: Well, remember how you were a bed-wetter 'til you were eight?

Alan Harper: Yeah.

Charlie Harper: You actually stopped at six.

Alan Harper: What? What-what did you do? Did you sneak into my room, and-and-and-and pour warm water on me while I was asleep?

Charlie Harper: Yeah, okay. Let's say it was water, and let's say I poured it.

[Alan's jaw drops]

Charlie Harper: Well, I feel better. How 'bout you?

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Charlie Harper: [Charlie's locks himself in the bathroom] There is no Bad Alan. I'm the one who stole the Silly-Putty and put it in your pocket when you weren't looking. 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...

Alan Harper: [starts pounding on the door, shouting] *Damn you to hell! Come out here and die like a man!*

Charlie Harper: What do ya know? There is a Bad Alan.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Evelyn Harper: [Alan is furious with Charlie] How are my boys doing this evening?

Evelyn Harper: [no response] Burrrr... Well, I think Mommy has the answer. Alan, if you find it intolerable, living under the same roof with the brother who betrayed you, then you and Jake can come and live with me.

Alan Harper: [thinks it over, turns to Charlie, shaking his hand] We're good.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Jake Harper: [dinner did not agree with him] That deer didn't have antlers when I ate it, but it's sure coming out that way.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Jake Harper: Dad? If Uncle Charlie let you kick him in the nuts, would that make you guys even?

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Alan Harper: [tucking Jake in bed and talking, Jake passes gas] The lesson was... Oh... God... Jake! That's *awful*!

Jake Harper: Yeah, I wish I could've saved that one for school.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Alan Harper: [Charlie's fixing an Alka Seltzer] You too?

Charlie Harper: Yeah. Apparently, Mom wasn't the only parasite at dinner tonight.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Charlie Harper: Twenty-five years ago, I put Silly-Putty in my brothers pants.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Alan Harper: You cracked the parental code on the cable box again, didn't you?

Jake Harper: It's 1-2-3-4. A monkey could crack that.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Evelyn Harper: So, dear...

Jake Harper: What?

Evelyn Harper: Do you see anything you like?

Jake Harper: I don't know, what's venison?

Evelyn Harper: Deer.

Jake Harper: What?

Evelyn Harper: Deer.

Jake Harper: What?

Evelyn Harper: Deer. d e e r.

Jake Harper: What? w h a t.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page