- Bender: Wow! I'm finally gonna see my favourite chef, TV's Elzar! Aww, this is the greatest nanosecond of my life! No, this one is! No, this one. Wait! That one was... slightly worse. Ah! So far so good on this one!
- Philip J. Fry: It's funny, Bender. With you sick and Leela blind, only I know what really went on out there. Maybe someday I'll tell you the whole story.
- Bender: And maybe someday I won't listen.
- Robot Who Owes Money: Donbot, I beg you. I can't make this week's loan payment. Look into your hard drive and open your mercy file!
- Donbot: File not found.
- [Clamps and Joey Mousepad shoot the robot. A lot]
- Donbot: Let that be a warning to you!
- Robot Who Owes Money: [stands up full of holes but otherwise unscathed] Thank you, Donbot!
- Dr. Zoidberg: I don't like the looks of this doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's treated.
- Philip J. Fry: Need any help taking off?
- Turanga Leela: I'm fine, thank you. A real pilot can navigate by feel alone.
- Hermes Conrad: [the Planet Express ship crashes through the hangar doors, leaving a huge hole in them. Hermes notices the rubble. To Zoidberg] That's coming outta your pay!
- [Zoidberg bursts into tears]
- Clamps: So I gave him the cement shoes, which he likes, because they're lighter than his lead shoes.
- Donbot: You call this a table? You call *this* a table? I wouldn't hit a guy over the head with this table.