Jack: [Jack runs into Will's ex-boyfriend Vince at George Truman's funeral] I'm going to be playing a COP in a new TV show and I would love some pointers. The only COP things I've done is use handcuffs and say to someone, "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?".
Karen Walker: You know, Honey, normally my motto is "Drugs not hugs", but today I feel different.
[she hugs him]
Karen Walker: That's your laugh? Sounds like a squirrel orgy.
Tina: When someone dies, no one ever asks how the mistress is doing.
Karen Walker: Ah, tell me about it. Not one person came up to me at Reagan's funeral.
Jack: That's it? That's your story? That stunk! You're supposed to make him feel better about his dad not worse about his friends.