King of the Hill (TV Series)

Shins of the Father (1997)

Toby Huss: Cotton Hill, Kahn Souphanousinphone Sr.

Photos 

Quotes 

• Cotton Hill : Hey missy! Git me sum samiches!

• [at Bobby's birthday party] 

  Peggy Hill : Good grief, Cotton, you gave him a loaded shotgun?

  Cotton Hill : Well, you don't give a toy without batteries.

• [telling the story of how he lost his shins] 

  Cotton Hill : I was 14, just a little older than Bobby. But I knew Uncle Sam needed me, so I lied and signed up. We had beat the Nazzys in Italy, and they shipped me to the Pacific theater. A Tojo torpedo sent our troop ship to the bottom. I could only save three of my buddies: Fatty, Stinky, and Brooklyn. They were kind of like you fellas

  [to Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer] 

  Cotton Hill : , only one of them was from Brooklyn. Out of the sun came a Tojo Zero and put fitty bullets in my back. The blood attracted sharks. I had to give 'em Fatty. Then things took a turn for the worse. I made it to an island, but it was full of Tojos! They were spitting on the U.S. flag! So I rushed 'em, but it was a trap. They opened fire and blew my shins off. Last thing I remember, I beat 'em all to death with a big piece of Fatty. I woke up in a field hospital, and they were sewing my feet to my knees.

• Cotton Hill : [waving money in front of Kahn's face]  Mr. Kahn I'll have a Ma Tai.

  Kahn Souphanousinphone Sr. : What? What'd you think I work for Hank?

  Hank Hill : Uh, Dad this here is my new neighbor.

  Dale Gribble : [to Cotton]  He's Japanese.

  Cotton Hill : No he ain't!

  [looks him over] 

  Cotton Hill : he's Laotian, ain't you Mr. Kahn?

  [Kahn reacts in shock that he knew his ethnicity] 

• Cotton Hill : [watching Charlie's Angels]  Ah, damn, it's a Shelly Hack. That's like gettin' a Shemp.