- Director: Excuse me, hi, can you identify yourself for the camera, please? Just look right in the lens.
- Gil Grissom: What is this?
- Director: It's a reality crime show. We're following you for this investigation. Sheriff promised full cooperation.
- Catherine Willows: We got that memo. They're "Hard Crime".
- Director: That's us; we put the folks who look in the microscopes under the microscopes.
- Catherine Willows: Right. You see, it's good P.R. for the department. Try not to bust their chops, okay?
- Director: You ever see the show? It's got a lot of forensics.
- Gil Grissom: There's too many forensics shows on TV.
- LVPD Capt. Jim Brass: Yeah, we got a confession. He didn't choose women's feet. Women's feet chose him.
- Hard Crime Cameraman: You were a CSI right?
- Sophia Curtis: Yeah.
- Hard Crime Cameraman: But now you're a detective, so which side of the fence do you prefer?
- Sophia Curtis: It's the same side.
- Al Robbins: Women are 4 times more likely than men to be the victims of a sex related murder, and men are 10 times more likely than women to be the murderer. It's just the way it is.
- Nick Stokes: Two pieces of duct tape, both have been swabbed for DNA and fingerprinted.
- [Hodges is looking around for someone]
- Nick Stokes: Grissom wants you to compare adhesives. He's looking for a match.
- [Nick glances for whom Hodges is casting about]
- Hodges: Ok. That'll take a laser ablation test. That's good.
- Nick Stokes: Why's that good?
- Hodges: Well, laser ablation is both visual *and* dramatic.
- Nick Stokes: Are you looking for the video crew right now?
- Hodges: [scoffs] I would think they would be looking for *me*.
- Nick Stokes: Relax, man, their show is only an hour long; laser ablation takes, like, six.
- Hodges: Yeah, but when they cut it together, it'll only take 30 seconds.
- [Nick smiles, amused, and leaves]
- Hodges: [30-second montage of laser ablation preparation and FX]
- Hodges: [to Grissom:] Ran laser ablation on the duct tape samples. Not a match.
- Hard Crime Cameraman: All you have is a guy's face. How will you figure out who he is?
- Catherine Willows: Good question.
- Catherine Willows: Timecode is 06.36 but the alarm rang out at 06.58. That's 22 minutes later.
- Archie Johnson: What kind of fireman comes before the fire?
- C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: Someone who knows it's coming.
- Hard Crime Cameraman: Mr. Grissom we made a mistake. Can you say it one more time for the camera?
- [Gil Grissom stares at him]
- Hard Crime Cameraman: Mr. Grissom could you please describe what you're seing?
- C.S.I. Night Shift Supervisor Dr. Gil Grissom: A long night.