Lisa: Dad, do you know what Schadenfreude is?
Homer: No, I don't know what "shaden-frawde" is.
Homer: Please tell me, because I'm dying to know.
Lisa: It's a German term for "shameful joy", taking pleasure in the suffering of others.
Homer: Oh, come on Lisa. I'm just glad to see him fall flat on his butt!
Homer: He's usually all happy and comfortable, and surrounded by loved ones, and it makes me feel... What's the opposite of that shameful joy thing of yours?
Lisa: Sour grapes.
Homer: Boy, those Germans have a word for everything!
Marge: Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.
Bart: You lie like a fly with a booger in its eye.
Homer: [laughing] The fly was funny, but the booger was the icing on the cake.
Homer: I don't care if Ned Flanders IS the nicest guy in the world. He's a jerk. End of story.
Homer: Stupid family going to stupid Flanders' stupid barbecue. What if they got back and I was dead from not eating? Then they'd be sorry. They'd say, "Oh no, why did we go to Flanders barbecue? Why did we leave Homer all alone without any food?" And I'd be laughing. Laughing from my grave. Heh heh heh.
Akira: We learn karate, so we need never use it.
Bart: Um, excuse me, sir, I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchuks?
Akira: First, you must fill your head with wisdom. Then you can hit ice with it.