- Billy the Kid: [From The Fright to Creep and Scare Harms] Now let's rob the bank, give the money to the poor, then rob the poor, and shoot the money!
- Professor Frink: [From The Fright to Creep and Scare Harms]
- [after Homer has gone back into the past]
- Professor Frink: I hope he doesn't do anything to ruin the space-time continuum.
- [He looks down, his hand has turned into a blender]
- Professor Frink: Oh, for flavin out loud.
- [Groundskeeper Willy has been turned into an ape]
- Dr. Hibbert: Willy, take these folks' luggage.
- [to Homer]
- Dr. Hibbert: Careful, he might try to gnaw on your crotch.
- Homer: Don't worry, I've been around Scotsmen before.
- Ned Flanders: [from The Island of Dr. Hibbert. Homer is milking Flanders who has been turned into a half-man, half-cow] That's nice. You're actually quite gentle when you want to be.
- Homer Simpson: You know, you're not helping.
- Homer Simpson: [about Marge] She's become a monster! Which, I gotta admit I sort of suspected during the sex.
- [Flanders has been transformed into a cow by Hibbert]
- Ned Flanders: Oh, I'm not asking much, Homer. I just want you to squeeze my teats and harvest my milk.
- Homer Simpson: [playing the piano] Marge, let me do a solo. This could be my big break.
- Marge Simpson: I very much doubt that, Homer. These are horrible ghouls from the past.
- Homer Simpson: Hey, so are the Grammy judges!
- Chief Wiggum: Well boys, now it's our turn.
- Lou: [hands over his gun] This thing always made me feel like a man, y'know. Now all I got is my enormous genitals.
- Marge Simpson: [From Send In The Clones]
- [Marge just discovered the real Homer has been swapped for a clone]
- Marge Simpson: You're a clone! Then the real Homer...
- Clone Homer: First over cliff.
- Marge Simpson: My Homie's dead? How will I go on?
- Clone Homer: You like back rub?
- [Starts rubbing her back]
- Marge Simpson: Oh, well.
- Homer Simpson: [riding Ned Flanders as a cow-centaur, singing] In the jungle / The big, big jungle / Homer rides a freak
- Homer Simpson: [from The Island of Dr. Hibbert, riding Ned Flanders as a cow-centaur, singing] In the jungle / The big, big jungle / Homer rides a freak
- [among the many cloned Homers, there is the original one from the Tracey Ullman show skits]
- Homer Simpson: [as original Homer clone] Let's all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes.
- [Every inhabitant of Springfield has been turned into an animal]
- Ralph: [feathers pop out of his back] I'm a dog.
- [the Simpsons family hold a seance for Ned to contact the spirit of Maude]
- Bart Simpson: [dressed as Maude; ghastly voice] Ned, I'm back! Gimme a kiss!
- Marge Simpson: [on Dr. Hibbert's Island] Homie, something very creepy is going on here.
- Homer Simpson: You mean they're gonna try to sell us timeshares?