- Homer: [the Simpsons have accidentally made a barn out of a pool kit] All right, everybody in the pool!
- Amish Farmer: 'Tis a fine barn, but sure 'tis no pool, English.
- Homer: D'oh-eth!
- Bart: [the night after Bart hears a woman scream from Flanders's house, Bart sees Flanders digging a hole in his backyard]
- Bart: This can't be what it looks like. There's gotta be some other explanation!
- Ned Flanders: I wish there was some other explanation for this. But there isn't. I'm a murderer, I'm a murderer!
- Bart: Then that's not the real Ned Flanders.
- Ned Flanders: I'm a mur-diddly-urdler!
- Bart: If that's not Flanders, he's done his homework.
- Lisa: Dad, as you know, we've been swimming. And we've developed a taste for it. We both agree that getting our own pool is the way to go. Now before you respond, you must understand that your refusal would result in months and months of...
- Lisa, Bart: CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad?
- Homer: I understand. Let us celebrate our new agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.
- Lisa's Brain: They're only using you for your pool, you know.
- Lisa: Shut up, brain! I got friends now, I don't need you anymore.
- Homer: There's still the little matter of the whereabouts of your wife.
- Maude Flanders: Uh, I'm right here.
- Homer: [sarcastically] Oh, I see! Then I guess everything's wrapped up in a neat little package!
- [after a pause]
- Homer: Really, I mean that. Sorry if it SOUNDED sarcastic.
- Martin Prince: [in the Pool-Mobile] Take your best shot! I'm wearing seventeen layers!
- [all kids gather around Martin and snatch all of them]
- Martin Prince: [gasps] I brought this on myself.
- [runs away]
- [Homer and Marge go skinny dipping and Wiggum's helicopter flies overhead. They scream]
- Chief Wiggum: Do not be alarmed. Continue swimming naked. Oh, come on! Continue! Come on! Aw... all right, Lou, open fire.
- Pool Salesman: Over here we have the Hick Tub, the Insta-Rust. That's the Lightning Magnet. That's the Tinkler.
- [Martin has his family build a pool in their background to compete with Lisa's]
- Martin Prince: Ah, my plan has come to fruition! Soon I'll be queen of summertime... uh, I mean king, king!
- Homer: Ah, there's nothing like rising with the sun for a quiet, peaceful dip in your very own pool.
- Homer: [Homer climbs up to the pool and jumps in] Whoo!
- [Dirty water splashes out of the pool as he jumps in]
- Homer: Whoo!
- [Homer surfaces, covered in muck and filth]
- Homer: Blaaauuuuggggghhhhhh! Eeeeeewwwwwww!
- [Lisa enters]
- Homer: Lisa! The blob has got me! Don't touch me or it'll get you too!
- Lisa: Dad. You have to put chlorine in the water every day to keep it clean.
- Homer: Chlorine, eh?
- [first lines]
- Hans Moleman: [stepping outside on a hot, sunny day] Well, you're certainly doing your job today, Mister Sun.
- [lifts his glasses while looking at the sun, causing light to set his shirt on fire]
- Hans Moleman: Oh, rats.
- [last lines]
- Martin Prince: More friends! More allies! More, I say. Hang those who talk of less. There's a few inches over here, ho!
- [one more kid squeezes in, causing the pool to burst]
- Martin Prince: My precious pool and its lifestyle accoutrements... no!
- [everyone grumbles, leaves]
- Nelson: [rips off Martin's bathing suit] Ha ha!
- Martin Prince: Oh. The gentle caress of the summer breeze.
- [sings]
- Martin Prince: The summer wind came blowing in from across the sea...
- Jimbo: Dude, buzz has it an even wussier kid has an even better pool than this!
- [all the kids jump out, leaving Lisa stood at the bottom of an empty pool]
- Lisa: Hello? Hey, I'm stuck in here! I gotta think of a way to get out!
- Lisa's Brain: Well, well, well... look who's come crawling back.
- Sherri: Isn't it great that the day you got a pool was the same day we worked out we liked you? It all worked out great, don't you think?
- Krusty: Hope you enjoyed that, kids, 'cause Krusty's out of here for the summer. In the meantime, we'll be running
- [groans]
- Krusty: "Klassic Krusty".
- [Cut to Krusty episode that first aired on February 6th, 1961]
- Krusty: Good evening. Tonight my guest is AFL/CIO chairman George Meany, who will be discussing collective bargaining agreements
- George Meaney: It's a pleasure to be here, Krusty
- Krusty: Let me be blunt: is there a labor crisis in America today?
- George Meaney: Well that depends what you mean by "crisis"...