The Simpsons (TV Series)

Bart of Darkness (1994)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Hans Moleman, Squeaky-Voiced Teen, Busker, Ice Cream Man, Child #4, Child #6, Itchy, Krusty the Clown, TV Voice, L.B. 'Jeff' Jefferies, British Child, Grampa

Quotes 

• Homer : [the Simpsons have accidentally made a barn out of a pool kit]  All right, everybody in the pool!

  Amish Farmer : 'Tis a fine barn, but sure 'tis no pool, English.

  Homer : D'oh-eth!

• Lisa : Dad, as you know, we've been swimming. And we've developed a taste for it. We both agree that getting our own pool is the way to go. Now before you respond, you must understand that your refusal would result in months and months of...

  Lisa , Bart : CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad?

  Homer : I understand. Let us celebrate our new agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.

• Bart : Listen, Ned Flanders murdered his wife.

  Homer : But why? She's such a fox.

  [off Marge's glare] 

  Homer : I mean, what's on FOX tonight? Something ribald, no doubt.

• Homer : There's still the little matter of the whereabouts of your wife.

  Maude Flanders : Uh, I'm right here.

  Homer : [sarcastically]  Oh, I see! Then I guess everything's wrapped up in a neat little package!

  [after a pause] 

  Homer : Really, I mean that. Sorry if it SOUNDED sarcastic.

• Homer : Marge, can you set the oven to cold?

• Marge : I wish you'd stop spreading bad rumors about people! Remember when you got Grampa tarred and feathered?

  Bart : Sure. That was 20 minutes ago.

  Grampa : Gonna be in the tub for a while...

• Bart : Oh. I'm going to miss the whole Summer.

  Homer : Don't worry, boy, when you get a job like me, you'll miss every Summer.

• Homer : Ah, there's nothing like rising with the sun for a quiet, peaceful dip in your very own pool.

  Homer : [Homer climbs up to the pool and jumps in]  Whoo!

  [Dirty water splashes out of the pool as he jumps in] 

  Homer : Whoo!

  [Homer surfaces, covered in muck and filth] 

  Homer : Blaaauuuuggggghhhhhh! Eeeeeewwwwwww!

  [Lisa enters] 

  Homer : Lisa! The blob has got me! Don't touch me or it'll get you too!

  Lisa : Dad. You have to put chlorine in the water every day to keep it clean.

  Homer : Chlorine, eh?

• [first lines] 

  Hans Moleman : [stepping outside on a hot, sunny day]  Well, you're certainly doing your job today, Mister Sun.

  [lifts his glasses while looking at the sun, causing light to set his shirt on fire] 

  Hans Moleman : Oh, rats.

• Krusty : Hope you enjoyed that, kids, 'cause Krusty's out of here for the summer. In the meantime, we'll be running

  [groans] 

  Krusty : "Klassic Krusty".

  [Cut to Krusty episode that first aired on February 6th, 1961] 

  Krusty : Good evening. Tonight my guest is AFL/CIO chairman George Meany, who will be discussing collective bargaining agreements

  George Meaney : It's a pleasure to be here, Krusty

  Krusty : Let me be blunt: is there a labor crisis in America today?

  George Meaney : Well that depends what you mean by "crisis"...