Crow T. Robot: [after detecting a slight British accent by the two cast members] Let's see how long these accents last!
Tom Servo: [after seeing a poorly choreographed sword fight] It was a good idea to film the rehearsal.
Tom Servo: I put the - beats in - my script and I'm sticking - with them.
Dead Warrior: Who are you?
Deathstalker: Smelled your food.
Mike Nelson: That was the last guy's name!
[Deathstalker, the smug and loathsome hero, is preparing to leave the people]
Deathstalker: You once told me it's not easy being a princess.
Crow T. Robot: [as princess] Sure did. Bye!
Deathstalker: It's not easy being a hero, either.
Tom Servo: Never before has an entire medieval city thrown up at the same moment.
[watching Deathstalker break into a castle]
Mike Nelson: This movie is like playing Doom when there's no monsters or opponents.
[dozens of peasants are fighting to aid Deathstalker]
Crow: We are still fighting bravely for our vague goal.
Crow: It's hard to be menacing when you're dressed like Maude.