- Tad Gupty: Raisins are nature's candy.
- Daria: Then why do they have to cover them with chocolate to sell them at the movies?
- Tricia Gupty: Sugar is bad.
- Tad Gupty: Sugar rots your teeth.
- Tricia Gupty: Sugar makes you hyper.
- Tad Gupty: Hitler ate sugar.
- Jane: And the dish ran away with the spoon. But Hawaii was the only state that would recognize the marriage as legal.
- Sick, Sad World Announcer: They bake cookies by day, but the really heat up at night! G-String Grandmas, tonight on Sick, Sad World.
- Quinn: Gross!
- Daria: For once, we're in agreement.
- Daria: Oh, look, there's been a last-minute change in the schedule. It's time to watch TV.
- Tad Gupty: But too much TV is bad for you.
- Tricia Gupty: It can turn you into a zombie, Daria.
- Daria: Well, that'll make three of us.
- Daria: Do you alway do exactly what adults tell you?
- Tad Gupty: Yes.
- Daria: Do you always believe everything they say?
- Tricia Gupty: Yup.
- Daria: But what if two adults say exactly opposite things?
- [Tad starts crying and runs off. Tricia pulls Daria's hair]
- Daria: Ouch!
- Tricia Gupty: You're mean!