After Stan scores a remarkably high "Thetan Level" at a Scientology center, he is considered to be the reincarnation of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. John Travolta, Tom Cruise and ... See full summary »


(as John Smith)


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Episode cast overview:
Stan Marsh / Eric Cartman / Brian / Randy Marsh / Grandpa Marsh / Mr. Mackey / Head of Scientology / Scientologist #1 / Scientologist #2 / Tom Cruise / News Reporter / Policeman / R. Kelly (voice) (as John Smith)
Kyle Broflovski / Mike / Scientologist at Headquarters #2 / Kenny McCormick (voice) (as John Smith)
John 'Nancy' Hansen ...
John Travolta (voice) (as John Smith)
Mona Marshall ...
Kelly (voice) (as Jane Smith)
Sharon Marsh / Michelle / Scientologist at Headquarters #1 / Shelly Marsh / Nicole Kidman (voice) (as Jane Smith)


After Stan scores a remarkably high "Thetan Level" at a Scientology center, he is considered to be the reincarnation of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. John Travolta, Tom Cruise and other Scientologists go to South Park to convince Stan to be their leader, but when Stan makes disparaging remarks about Cruise's acting, the movie star locks himself inside a bedroom closet. R&B singer R. Kelly is recruited to get Tom Cruise to come out of the closet, but eventually Kelly, as well as Travolta, find themselves all trapped in the closet. Written by IMDb Editor

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis


Animation | Comedy






Release Date:

16 November 2005 (USA)  »

Company Credits

Production Co:

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Technical Specs


Sound Mix:


Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1
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Did You Know?


This show received an Emmy nomination for "Outstanding Animated Program (For Programming Less Than One Hour)" in 2006 for this episode. See more »


Stan: Dad! Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!
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Crazy Credits

At the end of the episode, Stan and the leader of the church of Scientology, get in an argument to which Stan says "So sue me!", and the leader says "Fine we will!". When the credits roll, everyones name is John Smith or Jane Smith, presumably, so Tom Cruise (who was mocked in the episode) wouldn't sue them. See more »


Referenced in Honest Trailers: Jupiter Ascending (2015) See more »

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User Reviews

Watch the credits(among other things)!
28 July 2009 | by (Topeka,Kansas,USA) – See all my reviews

Stone and Parker's rip into the Church of Scientology goes a little deeper in this riotous episode. Stan gets duped into taking a Test for Depression that measures his Thetan level. When his readings indicate that his count is phenomenal to the point that he only matches one other person--the late L.Ron Hubbard,founder of Scientology--the church sets out not only to make Stan a member but practically anoint him their new leader and heir to the kingdom.

This,of course,leads to a migration of Scientologists from all over to Colorado,including two of the most famous ones out there--John Travolta and Tom Cruise--and there's where the fun picks up.

Having un-officially introduced the expression "Dad,Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet!",this show is basically a good old fashioned roundhouse kick to the very rich and influential "church",which a bit of a poke or two at the then blissfully hilarious as well as popular R.Kelly and his "In the Closet"video serial. Around this time is when longtime contributor,legendary musician Isaac Hayes(himself a Scientologist)acrimoniously parted ways with the South Park show and creators,which would thusly lead to an episode killing off Hayes' charact3er,Chef.

The end credits round this off,an allusion to the litigious nature of the victims of this show's parody. A clever topper to a blissfully funny episode.

11 of 11 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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