Several religious leaders recongize Stan as the second coming of Christ, and a whole soap opera unfolds with the help from a famous R&B sensation.


(as John Smith)


(as John Smith), (staff writer)

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Episode cast overview:
Stan Marsh / Eric Cartman / Brian / Randy Marsh / Grandpa Marsh / Mr. Mackey / Head of Scientology / Scientologist #1 / Scientologist #2 / Tom Cruise / News Reporter / Policeman / R. Kelly (voice) (as John Smith)
Kyle Broflovski / Mike / Scientologist at Headquarters #2 / Kenny McCormick (voice) (as John Smith)
John 'Nancy' Hansen ...
John Travolta (voice) (as John Smith)
Mona Marshall ...
Kelly (voice) (as Jane Smith)
Sharon Marsh / Michelle / Scientologist at Headquarters #1 / Shelly Marsh / Nicole Kidman (voice) (as Jane Smith)


After Stan scores a remarkably high "Thetan Level" at a Scientology center, he is considered to be the reincarnation of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. John Travolta, Tom Cruise and other Scientologists go to South Park to convince Stan to be their leader, but when Stan makes disparaging remarks about Cruise's acting, the movie star locks himself inside a bedroom closet. R&B singer R. Kelly is recruited to get Tom Cruise to come out of the closet, but eventually Kelly, as well as Travolta, find themselves all trapped in the closet. Written by IMDb Editor

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Animation | Comedy






Release Date:

16 November 2005 (USA)  »

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Did You Know?


This episode was pulled from airing in the UK and as a repeat on Comedy Central because of Tom Cruise's objections. See more »


Nicole Kidman: Tom... Tom, it's Nicole.
Tom Cruise: Hi Nicole.
Nicole Kidman: Tom, don't you think this has gone on long enough? It's time for you to come out of the closet.
Tom Cruise: I'm not in the closet.
Nicole Kidman: Yes you are, Tom. And you need to just end this & come out. I'm not going to think any differently of you. Katie's not going to think any differently of you. You don't need to be in that closet any more, Tom.
Tom Cruise: I'm not in here though.
Nicole Kidman: Yes, you are.
Tom Cruise: I'm not... I'm not in the closet.
Nicole Kidman: Then how am I talking to you Tom? Tom, you can't hide forever ...
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Crazy Credits

At the end of the episode, Stan and the leader of the church of Scientology, get in an argument to which Stan says "So sue me!", and the leader says "Fine we will!". When the credits roll, everyones name is John Smith or Jane Smith, presumably, so Tom Cruise (who was mocked in the episode) wouldn't sue them. See more »


Referenced in Scared Sheetless (2017) See more »

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User Reviews

A Must See
5 April 2010 | by (Australia) – See all my reviews

This is easily the smartest and funniest episode of South Park that they've ever done. Taking on a subject like Scientology is nearly impossible for most because of the litigious nature of the group but thanks to the fast production of the show there wasn't time for Scientology to stop them doing it and we're lucky they didn't.

There are 2 big plots to this episode, the one that a lot of people love is the "Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet" section which is hilariously silly. Throwing in John Travolta and R. Kelly into this story just makes it funnier, R. Kelly's singing to Tom and John to the tune of his rap soap opera Trapped In The Closet is a stroke of genius.

The second plot however is the one that I love most, the part that caused a lot of controversy and led to Issac Hayes leaving the show... going after Scientology. South Park seems to be funniest when it tackles either religion or a current political event and this is the best example. One of the funniest moments is something that I'm stunned no one did before them, the part where they explain what Scientology is. What makes it even funnier is while all this talk about aliens and volcano's is going on at the bottom of the screen the words "This is what Scientologists actually believe". It's something that's so simple and yet so hilarious.

This is where South Park shone, it took a risk and even though they lost Chef (Who left claiming they were bigots, when in reality he was just upset that they attacked his religion) they won everyone over with their biting satire of a religion that needed to be taken on.

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