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(TV Series)

(1959)

Quotes

[first lines]

Mike Hammer: Five miles and five centuries from Times Square is Chinatown, a handful of blocks tucked away on the East Side near the Bowery, it is a city within city, a way of life to itself. It's crowded - ten men for every woman - but the people still read the writings of Lao Tze, the elders buy an ounce of powdered tiger's claw and for a real dish, try a hundred-year-old preserved egg. The people of Chinatown take care of their own problems; they're good citizens. Among other things, a good Chinese is a good gambler - he'll even gamble you're on the level - and he'll gamble with you around the clock, around the week, around the calendar.

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Mike Hammer: [narrating] It started out as one of those days when I thought I'd get a little office work done. For a week, I hadn't been able to use my phone without cracking my nose on the top of the desk and then the door opened and there she was - a living China doll.

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Sue Wo Toi: Are you Mr. Hammer?

Mike Hammer: Yeah, that's what my father told me.

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Copper Mako: You copper this, Hammer - Toi don't return that dough, he's going to be a busted toy.

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Mike Hammer: [narrating] Sam Wo Toi might have some answers and I didn't mean in a fortune cookie.

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Mike Hammer: Your wife hired me to keep Copper Mako from assaulting you.

Sam Wo Toi: He's worried about his money and I am equally worried about mine.

Mike Hammer: Hmm. Copper seemed to think that you arranged to have the game robbed yourself.

Sam Wo Toi: Of course not. It was Shakespeare who so sagely observed the bad effects of protesting too much. Perhaps that applies to Mr. Mako, too.

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Sue Wo Toi: Please help us, Mr. Hammer... Mike. I'll do anything. I'd be very, very grateful.

Mike Hammer: Honey, there's an old Chinese fortune cookie proverb - never gamble with a dark-eyed married woman.

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Rembrandt Kloski: With a name like Hammer, you've got a good heart and speaking of good hearts, I've got a very elegant special for this week only - three hearts in purple, puce and pomegranate for only four bucks plus any girl's name - first name only - for only a lousy buck more.

Mike Hammer: You're a skin artist, Klonski.

Rembrandt Kloski: Sir, I'm an artist that works in the media of skins, like Rembrandt - my name's sake - worked on canvas with oils.

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Mike Hammer: Oh, a suggestion: fewer dice rolls and more egg rolls make both the pocket and stomach happy.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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