Lovely by Surprise (2007)
Marian: Hey, I was writing this thing, and I believe in it. It can be good.
Jackson: Of course.
Marian: And I just couldn't get over the hugeness of writing a novel. I mean, the enormity of it. And I didn't feel this way until I got to this hard moment in the book. And now I can't seem to recover it. I keep shutting down when I try to write. It's scary.
Jackson: That's not a new problem for writers, of course, you know.
Marian: But it passes, and books are written, and life resumes again. Right?
Jackson: Only if you write.
Marian: Sounds so easy.
Marian: [in a low voice] I'm only 3 chapters in, but I get the sense that one of the characters I'm writing knows he's being written.
Jackson: Don't miss out on this. Killing the character that you love is the best thing about writing a book.
Marian: Nice. You're like some demented 10-year old boy.
Bob: We don't have any hotdogs.
Humkin: Do you have any milk?
Bob: We sell cars here. You need a car?
Humkin: Yes. One car, full of hotdogs.
Bob: Okay, that's enough of that. I need you to help me. Do you know what that means?
Humkin: Yes. Do you need my flashlight?
Bob: No. I need you to get in the car and go for a ride with me.
Humkin: I need a hotdog.
Bob: I will take you to get a hotdog. Just get in the car. I need you to look happy. I need you to wave to the people in the building, and get in the car. We will get you a hotdog.
Humkin: Okay. I have a compass, so we won't get lost.
Humkin: This is a fine car, Bob. I'd like to come back later and discuss a meal.
Bob: Discuss a *deal*.
Humkin: I'd like to discuss a deal.
Bob: Very good.
Humkin: And I'd like to purchase a no-load mutual fund, and a space suit. I would like to rule the Motor Mile with an iron fist. I would like to be your master. I will eat every hotdog in this Motor Mile, and drink melish with all of your Motor Mile wenches.
Humkin: When I am sad, I forget that I am me. I become something else.
Mopekey: I am here for the king of this castle. He will know who I am. I am here for milk. I need his milk.
Helen: The king of this castle is probably sitting on the toilet clutching a pitching wedge. But he will return eminently.
Spokeswoman: I'd like to introduce Marian Walker.
[applause as she opens "The Neverything", A novel by Marian Walker]