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Memorable quotes for
"The Simpsons" Treehouse of Horror III (1992)

Shopkeeper: [Homer has agreed to purchase a Krusty doll for Bart's birthday] Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Ooh, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free frogurt!
Homer: That's good.
Shopkeeper: The frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings.
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
[Homer looks puzzled]
Shopkeeper: ...That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?

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Homer: [singing] My baloney has a first name, it's H-O-M-E-R, my baloney has a second name, it's H-O-M-E-R.

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Marge: Homer, did you call the audience "chicken"?
Homer: No. I swear on this Bible.
Marge: That's not a Bible. That's a book of carpet samples.
Homer: Ooh... fuzzy.

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Lisa: Dad, we did something very bad!
Homer: Did you wreck the car?
Bart: No.
Homer: Did you raise the dead?
Lisa: Yes.
Homer: But the car's okay?
Lisa, Bart: Uh-huh.
Homer: All right then.

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Homer: [cocks a shotgun] To the book depository!

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Homer Simpson: That doll tried to kill me!
Bart Simpson: I'd say the pressure has finally gotten to Dad, but what pressure?

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Lenny: Hey Homer, cut it out! Come on! Quit eatin' me!

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Barney: Wow! Look at the size of that platform!

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Mr. Burns: [Taking Marge on an expedition] What do you think, Smithers?
Smithers: I think women and sea-men don't mix.
Mr. Burns: We know what you think.

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Shopkeeper: [Homer has agreed to purchase a Krusty doll for Bart's birthday] I must warn you, the doll is cursed!
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free frogurt!
Homer: That's good.
Shopkeeper: The frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free choice of toppings.
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain sodium benzoate.
Homer: [looks puzzled]
Shopkeeper: ...that's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?

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[Flanders, a zombie, approaches Homer]
Ned Flanders: Hey, Simpson. I'm feeling a might peckish. Mind if I chew your ear?
[Homer kills Flanders by blasting his head apart with a shotgun]
Bart: Dad! You killed the zombie Flanders.
Homer: He was a zombie?

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[Homer has given Bart a "cursed" Krusty doll]
Grampa: That doll is evil, I tells ya! Evil! EEEE-VIL!
Marge: Grampa, you said that about all the presents.
Grampa: I just want attention.

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[while fighting zombies]
Barney: Wow, George Washington!
Homer: Take that, Washington!
[BLAM!]
Homer: Eat lead, Einstein!
[BLAM!]
Homer: Show's over, Shakespeare!
[clubs him to the ground]
Zombie Shakespeare: Is this the end of Zombie Shakespeare?

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Homer: [a la Alfred Hitchcock] Good eeevening.
[normal voice]
Homer: I've been asked to tell you that the following show is very scary. You see, there are some crybabies out there - religious types, mostly - who might be offended. If you are one of them, I advise you to turn off your TV now. Come on, I dare you!
[imitates chicken]
Homer: Buck-buck-buck-buck! Chicken!
[screen winks out]

---

Marge: Well, I'm sure glad we didn't turn into mindless zombies.
Bart: Shhh... TV.
Homer: [thud sound on TV] Man fall down... funny.

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Marge: Homer! Did you barracade the door?
Homer: Why? Oh, the zombies! No.
[zombies enter]

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Carl: Hey, I hear we're going to Ape Island.
Lenny: Yeah, to capture a giant ape. I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island.
Charlie: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?
Carl: Apes, but they're not so big.

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[off the coast of Ape Island, hearing the natives chant, "Homer, Homer, Homer"]
Otto: Hey, who's this Homer dude?
Mr. Burns: He's either a 50-foot prehistoric ape, or a tourist trap concocted by the Ape Island jaycees. Either way, we're going ashore.

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