"The Simpsons" Treehouse of Horror III (TV Episode 1992) Poster


Carl: Hey, I hear we're going to Ape Island.

Lenny: Yeah, to capture a giant ape. I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island.

Charlie: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?

Carl: Apes, but they're not so big.

Shopkeeper: [Homer has agreed to purchase a Krusty doll for Bart's birthday] Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!

Homer: Ooh, that's bad.

Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free frogurt!

Homer: That's good.

Shopkeeper: The frogurt is also cursed.

Homer: That's bad.

Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings.

Homer: That's good!

Shopkeeper: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.

[Homer looks puzzled]

Shopkeeper: ...That's bad.

Homer: Can I go now?

Homer: [singing] My baloney has a first name, it's H-O-M-E-R, my baloney has a second name, it's H-O-M-E-R.

Marge: Homer, did you call the audience "chicken"?

Homer: No. I swear on this Bible.

Marge: That's not a Bible. That's a book of carpet samples.

Homer: Ooh... fuzzy.

Lisa: Dad, we did something very bad!

Homer: Did you wreck the car?

Bart: No.

Homer: Did you raise the dead?

Lisa: Yes.

Homer: But the car's okay?

LisaBart: Uh-huh.

Homer: All right then.

Homer: [cocks a shotgun] To the book depository!

Homer Simpson: That doll tried to kill me!

Bart Simpson: I'd say the pressure has finally gotten to Dad, but what pressure?

Lenny: Hey Homer, cut it out! Come on! Quit eatin' me!

Barney: Wow! Look at the size of that platform!

Mr. Burns: [Taking Marge on an expedition] What do you think, Smithers?

Smithers: I think women and sea-men don't mix.

Mr. Burns: We know what you think.

[Flanders, a zombie, approaches Homer]

Ned Flanders: Hey, Simpson. I'm feeling a might peckish. Mind if I chew your ear?

[Homer kills Flanders by blasting his head apart with a shotgun]

Bart: Dad! You killed the zombie Flanders.

Homer: He was a zombie?

[Homer has given Bart a "cursed" Krusty doll]

Grampa: That doll is evil, I tells ya! Evil! EEEE-VIL!

Marge: Grampa, you said that about all the presents.

Grampa: I just want attention.

[while fighting zombies]

Barney: Wow, George Washington!

Homer: Take that, Washington!


Homer: Eat lead, Einstein!


Homer: Show's over, Shakespeare!

[clubs him to the ground]

Zombie Shakespeare: Is this the end of Zombie Shakespeare?

Homer: [a la Alfred Hitchcock] Good eeevening.

[normal voice]

Homer: I've been asked to tell you that the following show is very scary. You see, there are some crybabies out there - religious types, mostly - who might be offended. If you are one of them, I advise you to turn off your TV now. Come on, I dare you!

[imitates chicken]

Homer: Buck-buck-buck-buck! Chicken!

[screen winks out]

Marge: Well, I'm sure glad we didn't turn into mindless zombies.

Bart: Shhh... TV.

Homer: [thud sound on TV] Man fall down... funny.

Marge: Homer! Did you barricade the door?

Homer: Why? Oh, the zombies! No.

[zombies enter]

[off the coast of Ape Island, hearing the natives chant, "Homer, Homer, Homer"]

Otto: Hey, who's this Homer dude?

Mr. Burns: He's either a 50-foot prehistoric ape, or a tourist trap concocted by the Ape Island jaycees. Either way, we're going ashore.

Homer: Do you sell toys?

Shopkeeper: We sell forbidden objects from places men fear to tread... we also sell frozen yogurt, which I call "frogurt"!

[after Homer runs, screaming and naked, through the kitchen]

Patty Bouvier: There goes the last lingering threat of my heterosexuality.

Mr. Burns: Damn it, Smithers! This isn't rocket science, it's brain surgery!

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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