- Michael Kelso: Hey, Eric, maybe she's going to give you the big gift. You know, the *big* gift. You guys know what I'm talking about, right?
- Steven Hyde: Yes, Kelso. We got it. Then, we got it.
- Fez: I'm not even from here, and I got it.
- [first lines]
- Steven Hyde: [watching "Petticoat Junction"] Does it bother anyone else that these women live in Hooterville?
- Eric Forman: Technically, Petticoat Junction is down the track from Hooterville.
- Steven Hyde: Well, does it bother anyone that they live down the track from Hooterville?
- Donna Pinciotti: What bothers me is that they bathe in the town water tank.
- Kitty Forman: So, what do you want for your birthday?
- Red Forman: Whatever you want. Money is no object, as long as it's reasonable.
- Eric: I want a cassette player for the car. A cassette player, not an 8-track. *Not* an 8-track. Okay?
- Kitty Forman: Why don't they put record players in cars?
- Red Forman: Okay, Eric. If you don't want an 8-track, you won't get one.
- Kitty Forman: Oh, but Red, he wants one!
- Eric: No, I don't. I *don't* want an 8-track.
- Red Forman: You'll get a Delco. A genuine GM part for a genuine GM car.
- Eric Forman: Well, first the egg travels down the fallopian tube to the uterus, where it attaches to the wall...
- Red Forman: Eric, for God's sake! That's no language for a woman to hear!