The Simpsons (TV Series)

And Maggie Makes Three (1995)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson, Bowler #2, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier

Quotes 

• Marge Simpson : You promised one hour of family time per week. Besides, that back-talking boat sets a bad example.

  Bart : Says you, woman.

• [Homer is trying to think of a way to increase business at the bowling alley] 

  Homer : Of course!

  [Cut to outside the bowling alley, Homer is firing a shotgun into the air while people around him run away, screaming] 

  Homer : Bowling! Bowling here! Get your bowling! Who's ready? Bowling!

  Lisa Simpson : [in the present]  Mom, make Dad tell the story right!

  Marge Simpson : That's what really happened.

  Lisa Simpson : Oh.

• Bart : Wow, Dad, you really threw a tantrum like a little sissy girl?

  Homer : Oh, just that one time.

  Marge Simpson : Actually, when I was about to have Bart...

  [cut to Marge telling Homer] 

  Homer : You're pregnant?

  [shrieks, points at Marge's stomach, rips out most of his hair, and runs up to the bedroom, still shreiking] 

  Marge Simpson : And then, when I told him about Lisa...

  [cut to Marge telling Homer with Bart watching] 

  Homer : You're pregnant again?

  [repeats the act, except ripping all of his hair out before running upstairs] 

• Homer : Oh, you're pregnant! That means we're gonna have to have a baby. All our financial plans are ruined! We're doomed! Doomed, I tells ya!

  [He lets out a scream as his head swells like a balloon and then pops. Cut to the present] 

  Marge Simpson : Bart, let your father tell the story!

  Homer : Yeah!

  Bart : Okay, but I know funny.

• [while Marge is in labor, Homer can only be depressed about the financial costs and having to take back his job at the nuclear plant] 

  Homer : [feigning happiness]  It's wonderful, it's magical, oh boy, here it comes, another mouth.

  Dr. Julius Hibbert : One more push ought to do it.

  Homer : Marvelous.

  Dr. Julius Hibbert : Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson. You have a beautiful, healthy, baby.

  Homer : Okay.

  [He half-heartedly raises a thumbs-up - and Maggie wraps her tiny hand around his thumb] 

  Homer : Huh?

  [He looks at her] 

  Marge Simpson : Homie, she's saying hello.

  Homer : [gazing adoringly at Maggie]  Hello!

• [Homer returns to the flashback after interrupting Bart's humorous re-telling; a headless Homer is moaning at Marge] 

  Homer : Oh, we're doomed!

  Marge Simpson : [voice-over]  Homer, you had a head.

  Homer : [voice-over]  Check.

  [in the flashback, Homer's head pops back] 

• [Marge and the kids say "eww" as Homer mimes sperm impregnating an egg] 

  Marge Simpson : Do you have to be so graphic?

  Homer : Relax, Marge. They pave the way for this kind of filth in school.