- Howard Moon: Well, who cuts people's hair in the middle of the night?
- Vince Noir: I do! They call me the Midnight Barber.
- Howard Moon: Yeah, well that's an infringement of people's liberties. So don't ever be doing that to me.
- Vince Noir: I DO do it to you.
- Howard Moon: ...what?
- Vince Noir: Who d'you think cuts your hair, Einstein?
- Howard Moon: My hair just doesn't grow very fast
- Vince Noir: What, you think it stays that length naturally? I'm in there in the night, styling away.
- Howard Moon: How dare you do that to me in the night, when I'm oblivious.
- Vince Noir: I do my best work when you're oblivious. I lean you up against the pillow, and I go at you.
- Howard Moon: That's perverted!
- Vince Noir: If I didn't, you'd look like Stig of the Dump.