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"Futurama" The Series Has Landed (TV Episode 1999) Poster

(TV Series)

(1999)

Quotes

[after being kicked out of a theme park]

Bender: Yeah, well... I'm gonna go build my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the park!

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Leela: Fry, we have a crate to deliver.

Fry: Well let's just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it.

Bender: Too much work. Let's burn it and *say* we dumped it in the sewer.

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Dr. Zoidberg: Now open your mouth and lets have a look at that brain.

[Fry opens his mouth]

Dr. Zoidberg: No, no, not that mouth.

Fry: I only have one.

Dr. Zoidberg: Really?

Fry: Uh... is there a human doctor around?

Dr. Zoidberg: Young lady, I am an expert on humans. Now pick a mouth, open it and say "brglgrglgrrr"!

Fry: Uh... brglgrglgrglgrrr!

Dr. Zoidberg: What? My mother was a saint! Get out!

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Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Ah, to be young again. And also a robot.

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Fry: Can I do the countdown?

Leela: Oh, sure. Knock yourself out.

Fry: Ten... nine...

Leela: We're here!

Fry: Eightsevensixfivefourthreetwooneblastoff.

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[Bender is caught with the moon farmer's robot daughters and is chased into the barn with Leela and Fry]

Fry: Bender, you didn't touch the Crushinator, did you?

Bender: Of course not. A girl that fine you gotta romance first.

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Hermes Conrad: Okay, captain, this is just a standard legal release, protecting Planet Express from lawsuits in the event of the unforeseen.

Leela: [reading] "Death by airlock failure... "

Hermes Conrad: Mm-hm.

Leela: "... death by brain parasite... "

Hermes Conrad: Yah.

Leela: "... death by sonic diarrhea... "

Hermes Conrad: Oho, you don't want that.

Leela: Look, I don't know about your previous captains, but I intend to do as little dying as possible.

Hermes Conrad: Ohohohohohohoho... Sign the paper.

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[Amy is trying to retrieve the keys to the spaceship, which have fallen into an arcade crane game]

Bender: Come on, it's just like making love. Y'know... left, down, rotate sixty-two degrees, engage rotor...

Amy Wong: I know how to make love.

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Craterface: Hi, I'm Craterface. Welcome to Luna Park. I'm going to have to confiscate your alcohol.

Bender: Better mascots than you have tried.

[sticks bottle in Craterface's eye]

Craterface: At least I still have my self respect.

[laughs, then sobs]

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Fry: I'm never gonna get used to the 31st century. Caffineated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? ADMIRAL Crunch?

Leela: Well, if you don't like that, try some ARCHDUKE Chocula.

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Leela: Hurry, before we freeze.

Bender: What do you mean "we", mammal?

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Moon Rover Ride Narrator: No one really knows when, where, or how man landed on the moon...

Fry: I do!

Moon Rover Ride Narrator: ...but our Fungineers imagine it went something like this.

[Animatronic whalers emerge from a lunar lander]

Animatronic Whalers: [singing] We're whalers on the moon.

Animatronic GophersAnimatronic Gophers: We carry a harpoon.

Animatronic WhalersAnimatronic GophersLeela: But there are no whales, so we tell tall tales and sing a whaling tune.

Fry: That's not how it happened.

Leela: Oh, really? I don't see you with a Fungineering degree.

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Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Oh, dear. I really ought to do something. But I am already in my pajamas.

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Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Now that you're our new employees, I'd like you to have a look at our commercial. I paid to have it aired during the Super Bowl.

Fry: Wow.

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Not on the same channel, of course...

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[about Dr. Zoidberg]

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Now Fry, before you go into space you'll need to see our staff doctor. I should warn you though, he's a little... um, unusual

[whispering]

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: He wears sandals.

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Bender: Oh, no room for Bender, huh? Fine! I'll go build my own lunar lander, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the lunar lander and the blackjack. Ahh, screw the whole thing!

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Fry: Where are we going?

Leela: Nowhere special. The moon.

Fry: The mo - the moon? The moon moon? Wow! I'm going to be a hero, like Neil Armstrong and all those other brave guys no one ever heard of.

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Leela: Our car broke down and we're low on oxygen. Can we borrow some?

Moon Farmer: Borry? Listen here, city girl. Oxygen doesn't grow on trees. You'll have to work it off doing chores on my hydroponic farm. You can go back to your precious park at sun-up.

Fry: I guess we can do chores for a few hours.

Leela: Fry, night lasts two weeks on the moon.

Moon Farmer: Yep, drops down to minus-173.

Fry: Celsius or Fahrenheit?

Moon Farmer: First one, then the other.

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Amy Wong: Please, mister. Could you get my keys out of the machine?

Sal: What do I look like? Some guy who's not lazy?

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Fry: Can I do the countdown?

Leela: Huh? Oh, sure. Knock yourself out.

Fry: Ten.

[ship takes off]

Fry: Nine.

[ship reaches the moon]

Leela: Okay, we're here.

Fry: [quietly] Eightsevensixfivefourthreetwooneblastoff.

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Moon Rover Ride Narrator: No one really knows when, where, or how man landed on the moon...

Fry: I do!

Moon Rover Ride Narrator: ...but our Fungineers imagine it went something like this...

[Animatronic whalers emerge from a lunar lander]

Animatronic Whalers: [singing] We're whalers of the moon.

Animatronic Gophers: We carry a harpoon.

Animatronic WhalersAnimatronic Gophers: But there ain't no whales, so we tell tall tales and sing a whaling tune.

Fry: That's not how it happened.

Leela: I don't see you with a Fungineering degree.

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Amy Wong: Leela's gonna kill me.

Bender: Naw, she'll probably make me do it.

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Amy Wong: [to Leela] Aye, Aye captain... I mean: only-one-eye... I mean: yes sir... uhm... ma'am.

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Bender: You're the kind of guy who visits Jerusalem and doesn't want to visit the Sexeteria.

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[Fry and Leela are taking a ride on the Moon Park]

Moon Rover Ride Narrator: The story of lunar exploration started with one man - a man with a dream.

Animatronic Ralph Kramden: One of these days, Alice. Bang. Zoom. Straight to the moon.

Leela: Wow! I never realized the first astronauts were so fat.

Fry: That's not an astronaut, it's a TV comedian! And he was just using space travel as a metaphor for beating his wife.

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Fry: Uh, greetings Moon Man, we come in peace. I am Fry from the planet Earth.

Sal: Wise guy huh? If I wasn't so lazy I'd punch you in the stomach.

Fry: But, you are lazy right?

Sal: Oh, don't get me started.

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Moon Farmer: [about the amusement park] Oooh, that's a wicked, sinful place. Tilt-a-Whirl's okay, but the rest is mighty wicked.

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Amy Wong: Look, we're not as rich as everybody says.

Leela: [dubiously] Uh huh. What sorority do you belong to?

Amy Wong: Kappa Kappa Wong.

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Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Ah, to be young again... and also a robot.

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Fry: I'm never gonna get used to the 31st century. Caffineated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? ADMIRAL Crunch?

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[a commercial for Farnsworth's delivery company]

Horrible Gelatinous Blob: Evans! Where's that package from Earth?

Not Evans: Uh...

[H.G. Blob swallows him whole]

Not Evans: I'm not Evans!

Horrible Gelatinous Blob: He should've used Planet Express!

Commercial Announcer: When those other companies aren't brave of foolhardy enough to go, trust Planet Express for reliable on-time deliveries!

Evans: Here's your package, Mr. Horrible Gelatinous Blob!

Horrible Gelatinous Blob: Good work, Evans! You've got a future around here!

[swallows him whole]

Evans: Thank you, sir!

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Leela: If everyone is done being stupid...

Fry: I had more, but go ahead.

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Professor Hubert Farnsworth: [Takes Bender's head off for cleaning] My goodness, Bender. You're filthy.

Bender: Yeah, like you don't have crap in your neck.

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Fry: Look, Leela. I'm sorry. I never should have dragged you out here.

Leela: That's right, you shouldn't have. I still don't get what the big attraction is.

Fry: I never told anybody this, but a thousand years ago I used to look up at the moon and dream about being an astronaut. I just didn't have the grades, or the physical endurance. Plus I threw up a lot, and nobody liked spending a week with me.

Leela: A week would be a little much.

Fry: The moon was like this awesome, romantic, mysterious thing, hanging up there in the sky where you could never reach it, no matter how much you wanted to. But you're right. Once you're actually here, it's just a big, dull rock. I guess I just wanted you to see it through my eyes, the way I used to.

[the window reflects off Fry's helmet; Leela looks outside and sees a beautiful moonscape with the Earth in the sky]

Leela: Fry, look. It really is beautiful. I don't know why I never noticed it before.

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Bender: Hey, look what I won off some tourist's pocket.

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Leela: So, Fry. Was the real moon anything like the moon you used to dream about?

Fry: Eh. Close enough.

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[repeated line]

Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass!

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Fry: Hurry up! I wanna get to the moon!

Leela: Relax. It's open 'til nine.

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Fry: Hey, I got everyone magnets.

[puts one on Bender's head]

Bender: Get it off! Get it off! Oh-oh. How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a... Aaoow!

[Fry removes magnet]

Bender: Don't ever do that! Magnets interfer with my inhibition unit.

Fry: So you flip out and start acting like a folk singer?

Bender: Yes. Although a robot would have to be crazy to be a folk singer.

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Fry: You're not gonna believe this, but someone landed an amusement park on the moon!

Amy Wong: Guh! It's the happiest place orbiting Earth.

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Bender: [singing, to the tune of "She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain"] Well, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes, / Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes, / Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun, / Oh, I'll shoot her with my ray gun, / Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes, / When she comes! / I'll be blastin' all the humans in the world, / I'll be blastin' all the humans in the world, / I'll be blastin' all the humans, / I'll be blastin' all the humans, / I'll be blastin' all the humans in the world, / In the world!

[spoken]

Bender: One more time!

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[the car Leela and Fry are on is sinking in quicksand]

Fry: We're gonna die! Every man for himself!

[Tries to escape, but falls into the quicksand]

Fry: Help me, Leela!

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Fry: Look! It's the moon landing site! We found it!

Leela: Fry, get in here.

Fry: It's that flag from MTV, and Neil Armstrong's footprint!

[Puts his foot over Armstrong's footprint, leaving a Nike footprint in its place]

Fry: Hey, my foot's bigger. Leela, isn't this the greatest thing you've ever seen?

Leela: Fry, look around! It's just a crummy plastic flag and a dead man's tracks in the dust. Now get in here before you freeze.

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[after Bender has acted very strange when a magnet was placed on his head]

Fry: So you flip out and start acting like some crazy folk-singer?

Bender: Yes,

[stares longingly into the distance]

Bender: I guess a robot would have to be crazy to wanna' be a folk-singer...

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[a commercial for Farnsworth's delivery company]

H.G. Blob: Evans! Where's that package from Earth?

Employee: Uh...

[H.G. Blob swallows him whole]

Employee: I'm not Evans!

H.G. Blob: He should've used Planet Express!

Commercial Narrator: When those other companies aren't brave or foolhardy enough to go, trust Planet Express for reliable on-time deliveries!

Evans: Here's your package, Mr. Horrible Gelatinous Blob!

H.G. Blob: Good work, Evans! You've got a future around here!

[swallows him whole]

Evans: Thank you, sir!

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Leela: Well, if the oxygen holds out, we might live long enough to starve to death.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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