Edit
"Futurama" The Day the Earth Stood Stupid (TV Episode 2001) Poster

Quotes

[Nibbler explains the Giant Brains' plan]

Leela: You mean those giant brains are making everyone on Earth stupid?

[Nibbler chatters]

Leela: Ooooooooooh. Stupid-ER.

Leela: I... have to tell... must... important... something...

Fry: Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. You're going a mile a minute.

Chief Giant Brain: What do you want?

Fry: I'm here to kick your ass!

Chief Giant Brain: Wishful thinking. We have long since evolved beyond the need for asses.

Fry: [writing] "Leela cried for her love as Fry lay dead under the heavy book case. The giant brain laughed in triumph. 'Ha ha ha!' Then, for no reason, he left Earth forever. The end." There. Now he's trapped in a book I wrote. A crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors.

Chief Giant Brain: The big brain am winning again! I am the greetest! Mwa-ha-ha-ha! Now I am leaving Earth for no raisin!

Morbo: Morbo cannot read his teleprompter. He forgot how you say that letter that looks like a man wearing a hat.

Linda the Newsanchor: That is a T. It goes "Thuh."

Morbo: Hello, tiny man. I will destroy you!

[everyone on Earth except Fry is moronically stupid]

Fry: What are we going to do?

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Duh, I know, let's play the lottery.

Amy Wong: No, let's buy internet stock.

Dr. Zoidberg: On margin. Zoidbee wants to buy on margin.

Hermes Conrad: [holding a board in front of his face] Look at me. I'm invisible.

Fry: Wait a minute, I know what's going on here. You've all become idiots.

Bender: Hey, let's all join the Reform party.

Everyone: Yeah.

[in the library, absorbing all of Earth's knowledge]

Chief Giant Brain: Pathetic human race. Arranging their knowledge by category just made it easier to absorb. Dewey, you fool! Your decimal system has played right into my hands! Ha ha ha ha!

[Nibblonians explain the Giant Brains]

Ken: They travel from world to world making everyone stupid in order to wipe out all thought in the universe.

Leela: Wipe out all thought? My God, they're like flying televisions.

Fry: All right, time to reeducate you duncebags. We'll start with U.S Presidents. This is our first president, George Washington.

[Holds the head of George Washington; The others look confused]

Fry: Let's review. Who was our first president?

Bender: A pickle jar?

George Washington's Head: Thomas Jefferson?

Captain Ahab: A gold dubloon for the first man who first spies the white whale!

[the Giant Brain rocks the boat]

Queequeg: Big whale over there!

Captain Ahab: Arr, I saw it first.

[Fry and Leela are trapped in 'Moby Dick']

Chief Giant Brain: Farewell! You will all be trapped in this dense symbolist tome forever!

[on whitewashing Aunt Polly's fence in 'Tom Sawyer']

Chief Giant Brain: Tom Sawyer, you tricked me. This is less fun than previously indicated. Let this corny slice of Americana be your tomb for all eternity.

Tom Sawyer: Please, no!

Chester A. Arthur's Head: [after being knocked over by Fry] Chessy A. Arthur fall down!

Queequeg: Wait! That no white whale. That grey thinky whale.

Fry: Attention New New Yorkers: stop acting so stupid!

Leela: Brain... Brain make people dumb!

Fry: No, Leela. Brain make people smart.

Fry: Come on, Fry, think. Thinking... thinking...

Chief Giant Brain: Oh, Stop that!

Fry: Hey, thinking hurts them! Maybe I can think of a way to use that.

Chief Giant Brain: Argh!

Fry: Aha! Prepare to be thought at! Leela, give me a topic.

Leela: Duh...

Fry: Seriously, I can't think of anything.

[He looks through a pile of books]

Fry: I gotta find something to make me think. Hardy Boys... too easy. Nancy Drew... too hard. Ah, perfect. Bonfire of the Vanities.

[reads]

Chief Giant Brain: No! It's unbearable!

Fry: [reading to harm the Chief Giant Brain] Take that, and that! This sentence I don't understand... but take this one!

Leela: [hands Fry a note] This. You for this.

Fry: Thanks.

[blows nose on note, then throws it in fireplace]

Leela: No!

[reaches into fire]

Leela: Ow! Fire hot!

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: The professy will help.

[reaches into fire]

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Ahh! Fire indeed hot!

Bender: Second place? That's a fancy word for losing.

[whips Zoidberg]

Bender: You didn't stick your landing!

Dr. Zoidberg: Forgive me, my friend?

Bender: Never!

Nibbler: The brain spawn hate all consciousness. The thoughts of others screech at them like the forced laughs of a billion art-house patrons.

Fry: Bender, if this is a scam, I don't get it. You already have my power of attorney.

Leela: Is there Mrs. Queequeg?

Leela: Me... feel... a bit better in cognitive faculties.

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Zooka Barooka! First prize is $500 and a lifetime supply of dog food.

Bender: $500, you say?

Dr. Zoidberg: Dog food, you say?

Pet Show Judge: And the Grand Prize winner...

[monotone]

Pet Show Judge: ...the Hypno-Toad.

[crowd applauds in a monotone manner]

Pet Show Judge: All glory to the Hypno-Toad.

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Good news, everyone. We were supposed to deliver a package to the planet Tweenis 12, but it's been completely destroyed.

Leela: Why is that good news?

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: They paid in advance.

Leela: Am I going crazy? Have my years of wild hedonism finally caught up with me?

Hermes Conrad: This is mighty strange. First the civilization of Space Rome collapsed, then Don Martin 3 went kerflooie, and now Tweenis 12.

Fry: Looks like this planet is next in line.

Leela: That's Earth.

[Fry just stares at her]

Leela: The planet we live on?

Fry: I'd hate to be those guys.

Leela: So your name is Lord Nibbler? That's a coincidence.

Nibbler: That name is for your sake. In the time it would take to pronounce one letter of my true name, a trillion cosmoses would flare into existence and sink into eternal night.

Leela: You fight biggest brain of all.

Fry: Even bigger than those? Holy nuts! Where would it be?

Leela: I dunno.

Fry: Let's see, a giant brain is basically a giant nerd. Where would a nerd go?

[gasp]

Fry: The library!

Fry: Doctor Zoidberg, why is everyone acting so weird?

Dr. Zoidberg: Zoidbie want balloon! Want balloon now! Zoidbie want go outside!

Fry: But I just let you in!

Pet Show Judge: And before we announce the winner, we'd like to present a special award to a first-time contestant: Miss Leela and her strange pet Nibbler!

Leela: Me? Award? Him? Me? Good?

Pet Show Judge: That's just the kind of eloquence you'd expect from the owner of... Dumbest Pet in Show!

Nibbler: The fate of your world, perhaps of all worlds, rests within his special mind.

Leela: Now, when you say special...

Leela: Why would Fry be immune to the brains' attacks? Because he doesn't shower?

Fiona: The brains suppress intelligence by attacking the Delta brain wave. Every animal and robot generates this wave, as well as certain trees.

Nibbler: Fry, however, does not.

Fiona: Somehow he has cobbled together a random assortment of other brain waves into a working mind.

Leela: Like a prom dress made of carpet remnants!

Nibbler: Yes, like your prom dress.

[inside "Pride and Prejudice"]

Elizabeth Bennet: Mister Fry, they tell me you're quite the oddity, a bachelor at your age.

Fry: You think I'm an oddity, you should see...

Butler: Announcing the arrival of the richest landowner in all Hampshire, Lord Brainley.

Chief Giant Brain: I'm a gigantic brain!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Fry: Hey, Brainley! Think fast!

[throws bucket of whitewash at Brain]

Chief Giant Brain: I always think fast.

[is hit by bucket and covered in whitewash]

Chief Giant Brain: Ow!

Captain Ahab: The whale! He be white now!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Nibbler: And so, life returned to normal, or at least as normal as it gets in this primitive dirtball inhabited by psychotic apes. Thanks to the effects of the brain waves, the people of Earth have not memory of what had transpired, except Fry, and no one believed him or cared what he had to say. I, meanwhile, returned to my post, ever vigilant, lest Earth again come under brain attack. And when that day comes, God help us. God help us all.

Leela: Time for a diapie change.

Nibbler: End transmision.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Fry: Boy, that dog is hard to beat. Look at him bring those sheep. One sheep, two sheep...

[yawns]

Fry: ... three sheep...

[falls asleep]

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Ken: Welcome back, Lord Nibbler, Ambassador to Earth, homeworld of the pizza bagel.

Nibbler: Thank you. I bear many receipts for reimbursement.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Leela: So you say those brains are making everyone on Earth stupid?

Nibbler: a string of incoherent babble

Leela: Oh, stupider.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Everyone on Earth except Fry is moronically stupid]

Fry: What are we going to do?

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Duh, I know, let's play the lottery.

Amy Wong: No, let's buy internet stock.

Dr. Zoidberg: On margin. Zoidbee wants to buy on margin.

Hermes Conrad: [holding a board in front of his face] Look at me. I'm invisible.

Fry: Wait a minute, I know what's going on here. You've all become idiots.

Bender: Hey, let's go join the Reform party.

Everyone: Yeah.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[in the library, absorbing all of Earth's knowledge]

The Big Brain: Pathetic human race. Arranging their knowledge by category just made it easier to absorb. Dewey, you fool! Your decimal system has played right into my hands! Ha ha ha ha!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Fry: All right, time to reeducate you duncebags. We'll start with U.S Presidents. This is our first president, George Washington.

[pause. The others look confused]

Fry: Let's review. Who was our first president?

Bender: A pickle jar?

George Washington's Head: Thomas Jefferson?

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

The Big Brain: What do you want?

Fry: I'm here to kick your ass!

The Big Brain: Wishful thinking. We have long since evolved beyond the need for asses.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Captain Ahab: A gold dubloon for the first man who spots the white whale!

[the Giant Brain, painted white, rocks the boat]

Queequeg: Big whale over there!

Captain Ahab: Arr, I saw it first.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[Fry and Leela are trapped in 'Moby Dick']

The Big Brain: Farewell! You will all be trapped in this dense symbolist tome forever!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[On whitewashing Aunt Polly's fence in 'Tom Sawyer']

The Big Brain: Tom Sawyer, you tricked me. This is less fun than previously indicated. Let this corny slice of Americana be your tomb for all eternity.

Tom Sawyer: Please no!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Fry: [writing] "Leela cried as Fry lay crushed under the book case. The giant brain laughed 'Ha ha ha!' Then, for no reason, he left Earth, never to return. The end." There. Now he's trapped in a book I wrote. A crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors.

The Big Brain: The big brain am winning! I am the greetest! Mwa-ha-ha-ha! I must now leave Earth for no raisin!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Leela: So, how was the universe created?

[Nibbler babbles in his native language]

Leela: And the meaning of existence?

[Nibbler talks some more]

Leela: So every religion is wrong.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Morbo: Morbo forget how you spell that letter that looks like a man wearing a hat. Hello, tiny man. I will destroy you!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Linda the Newsanchor: Hi! Today some bad things happened. One bad thing was a train got crashed in New Jersey. Wanna see? People won't be late for work though, because the governor lady said, "I'm sending in more trains!"

[Another train crashes into the wreckage causing a massive explosion]

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Fry: [Sees Dr. Zoidberg trying to cut off one of his own mouth tentacles] Dr. Zoidberg why is everyone acting so weird?

Dr. Zoidberg: Zoibie want balloon, want balloon now!,

[Jumping up and down]

Dr. Zoidberg: Zoibie want go outside!

Fry: Aw I just let you back in!

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page