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"Futurama"
Mars University (1999)
Guenter:
[to Fry, after getting the number of a girl named Christie] You like bananas? I got her number. How do you like them bananas?
[about Mars University]
Leela: They planted traditional college foliage: ivy, trees, hemp...
Leela: You went to college?
Bender: Of course. I'm a bender. I went to Bending College; I majored in Bending.
Fry: What was your minor?
Bender: Robo-American Studies.
Gearshift: No, Bender, wait. We're the lamest frat on campus. Even Hillel has better parties than us. Please, you've gotta stay and teach us how to be cool.
Bender: Hmmm... okay, but I'll need ten kegs of beer, a continuous tape of "Louie, Louie," and a regulation two-story panty-raid ladder.
[Gunther the Monkey runs away]
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Oh, I always feared he would run off like this. Why? WHY? WHY didn't I break his legs?
[Fry reveals he told Gunther the Monkey to run away]
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: What? After I spent MONTHS slaving over a hot monkey brain?
Fry: Wow. The jungles on Mars look like the jungles on Earth.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Jungles? On Earth? Hahahahaha.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: But what about your superintelligence?
Gunther the Monkey: When I had that there was too much pressure to use it. All I want out of life is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit. That's why I've decided to transfer to Business School.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: NOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Guenter: I could never disappoint the professor. He's like a father to me.
Leela: But he's not your father. The guy swinging from the chandelier is your father.
Dean Vernon: The thing I love most about being Dean of students is the quiet, dignity, and respect I receive.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: It's a little experiment that might win me the Nobel Prize.
Leela: In which field?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I don't care - they all pay the same.
Fry: Good ol' Coney Island College. Go WhiteFish.
Fry: Very impressive. Back in the Twentieth Century we had no idea there was a university on Mars.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Well, in those days Mars was a dreary, uninhabitable wasteland, much like Utah. But unlike Utah, Mars was eventually made liveable when the university was founded in 2636.
Fry: Hey, professor. What are you teaching this semester?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Same thing I teach every semester. The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields. I made up the title so that no student would dare take it.
Fry: Mathematics of wonton burrito meals. I'll be there!
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Please, Fry. I don't know how to teach. I'm a professor.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I arranged that you be roommates for a reason: so I would only have to remember one phone number.
Guenter: [after putting the hat on again] Eureka! The hat goes on the head! It's all so obvious now!
Fry: [upon seeing his dorm room for the first time] Hey, pretty nice for a single. Two desks, two chairs, a couple of beds.
[there is a knock at the door]
Fry: A woodpecker.
Chet: I say! You've damaged our servants' quarters. And our servants.
20th Century History Teacher: Be forewarned. The only way to get a sure A in this class is to have actually lived in the 20th Century.
Fry: Swish!
[Teacher pushes a button; Fry gets shocked]
20th Century History Teacher: Anything else to add, Mr. Fry?
Fry: I'm from the 20th Century. Go ahead, ask me anything.
20th Century History Teacher: Very well. What device invented in the 20th Century allowed people to view broadcast programs in their own homes?
Fry: Ooh! I know this... whatcha call it?... Lite Brite!
[Fry is shocked again]
Leela: What you did to poor Gunther was cruel. At the risk of sounding like an after-school special, I think we learned who the real animal is.
Fry: You mean peer pressure?
Leela: So he just ran off in the middle of class?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I'm afraid so. All he handed in was a paper smeared with feces. He tied with Fry.
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[about Mars University]
Leela: They planted traditional college foliage: ivy, trees, hemp...
Leela: You went to college?
Bender: Of course. I'm a bender. I went to Bending College; I majored in Bending.
Fry: What was your minor?
Bender: Robo-American Studies.
Gearshift: No, Bender, wait. We're the lamest frat on campus. Even Hillel has better parties than us. Please, you've gotta stay and teach us how to be cool.
Bender: Hmmm... okay, but I'll need ten kegs of beer, a continuous tape of "Louie, Louie," and a regulation two-story panty-raid ladder.
[Gunther the Monkey runs away]
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Oh, I always feared he would run off like this. Why? WHY? WHY didn't I break his legs?
[Fry reveals he told Gunther the Monkey to run away]
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: What? After I spent MONTHS slaving over a hot monkey brain?
Fry: Wow. The jungles on Mars look like the jungles on Earth.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Jungles? On Earth? Hahahahaha.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: But what about your superintelligence?
Gunther the Monkey: When I had that there was too much pressure to use it. All I want out of life is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit. That's why I've decided to transfer to Business School.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: NOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Guenter: I could never disappoint the professor. He's like a father to me.
Leela: But he's not your father. The guy swinging from the chandelier is your father.
Dean Vernon: The thing I love most about being Dean of students is the quiet, dignity, and respect I receive.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: It's a little experiment that might win me the Nobel Prize.
Leela: In which field?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I don't care - they all pay the same.
Fry: Good ol' Coney Island College. Go WhiteFish.
Fry: Very impressive. Back in the Twentieth Century we had no idea there was a university on Mars.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Well, in those days Mars was a dreary, uninhabitable wasteland, much like Utah. But unlike Utah, Mars was eventually made liveable when the university was founded in 2636.
Fry: Hey, professor. What are you teaching this semester?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Same thing I teach every semester. The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields. I made up the title so that no student would dare take it.
Fry: Mathematics of wonton burrito meals. I'll be there!
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Please, Fry. I don't know how to teach. I'm a professor.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I arranged that you be roommates for a reason: so I would only have to remember one phone number.
Guenter: [after putting the hat on again] Eureka! The hat goes on the head! It's all so obvious now!
Fry: [upon seeing his dorm room for the first time] Hey, pretty nice for a single. Two desks, two chairs, a couple of beds.
[there is a knock at the door]
Fry: A woodpecker.
Chet: I say! You've damaged our servants' quarters. And our servants.
20th Century History Teacher: Be forewarned. The only way to get a sure A in this class is to have actually lived in the 20th Century.
Fry: Swish!
[Teacher pushes a button; Fry gets shocked]
20th Century History Teacher: Anything else to add, Mr. Fry?
Fry: I'm from the 20th Century. Go ahead, ask me anything.
20th Century History Teacher: Very well. What device invented in the 20th Century allowed people to view broadcast programs in their own homes?
Fry: Ooh! I know this... whatcha call it?... Lite Brite!
[Fry is shocked again]
Leela: What you did to poor Gunther was cruel. At the risk of sounding like an after-school special, I think we learned who the real animal is.
Fry: You mean peer pressure?
Leela: So he just ran off in the middle of class?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I'm afraid so. All he handed in was a paper smeared with feces. He tied with Fry.
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