Futurama (TV Series)

Godfellas (2002)

John DiMaggio: Bender

Photos 

Quotes 

• God Entity : Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you. And if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch, like a safecracker or a pickpocket.

  Bender : Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money.

  God Entity : Yes, if you make it look like an electrical thing. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

• Bender : I was God once.

  God Entity : I saw. You were doing very well, until everyone died.

• Bender : So do you know I'm going to do something before I do it?

  God Entity : Yes.

  Bender : What if I do something else?

  God Entity : Then I don't know that.

• Philip J. Fry : Bender, you're alive!

  Leela : This is by a wide margin the least likely thing that has ever happened.

  Bender : Guys, you'll never believe what happened! First I was God, then I met God!

  Philip J. Fry : We climbed a mountain and locked up some monks.

  Leela : Oh, no, the monks! We forgot to let them out of the laundry room.

  Philip J. Fry : Do we have to? They're monks, after all. I'm sure their God will let them out, or at least give them more shoes to eat.

  Bender : Fat chance! You can't count on God for jack! He pretty much told me so Himself. Now, come on. If we don't free those monks, no one will.

• Malachi : My Lord, the infidels on your back no longer believe in you. They say their prayers go unheeded.

  Bender : Of course they go unheeded! How am I supposed to hear prayers coming out of my ass?

• Bender : That galaxy is signaling in binary. I should signal back, but I only know enough binary to ask where the bathroom is. You speak English?

  God Entity : I do now.

• Bender : O' cruel fate, to be thusly boned! Ask not for whom the bone bones - it bones for thee.

• Malachi's Wife : Malachi Jr., what are you doing?

  Malachi, Jr. : I'm practicing hugging dad when he comes back from God.

  Bender : Ugh! Gageth me with a spoon.

• [as Malachi's village is being bombarded] 

  Malachi : Fear not, my Lord. We shall be with you soon.

  Bender : You're with me now! This is the maximum level of being with me!

  Malachi : We will solve our own problems, as you commanded. The time has come to convert the unbelievers.

  Bender : Convert them?

  Malachi : To radioactive vapor!

• Malachi : Behold, the One Commandment!

  [Lifts up a tablet reading "God Needs Booze"] 

  Bender : Make it a double!

• Bender : Worshipers? This ought to liven up my endless tragic voyage.