Fry: You know what the worst thing about being a slave is? They make you work all day but they don't pay you or let you go.
Leela: That's the only thing about being a slave.
Bender: Citizens of me! The cruelty of the old Pharaoh is a thing of the past!
Bender: Let a whole new wave of cruelty wash over this lazy land!
[crowd cheers, then is confused]
Bender: You've convinced me life is worth living... by showing me how bad my funeral will suck!
Fry: Incredible. This place is just like the Ancient Egypt of my day.
Osiran Slavemaster: That is no coincidence, for our people visited your Egypt thousands of years ago.
Fry: I knew it! Insane theories, one; regular theories, a billion.
Osiran Slavemaster: We learned many things from the mighty Egyptians, such as pyramid building, space travel, and how to prepare our dead so as to scare Abbott and Costello.
Fry: Also, Wolfman.
High Priest: Great wall of prophecy, reveal to us the will of God, so that we may blindly obey!
Priests: Free us from thought and responsibility!
High Priest: We shall read things off you!
Priests: Then do them!
High Priest: Your words guide us!
Priests: We're dumb!
Bender: [at a rollerblading circle] Hey, everybody! Do the Bender. This move's called the Bender.
Rollerblader: Yo, Hot Wheels. This circle is about free expression, not fascist moves.
High Priest: We commend the body of our great Pharaoh Hamenthotep to the abode of the damned! The damned good-looking!
High Priest: Pharaoh commanded me to tell that joke at his funeral.
High Priest: We hear your voice, O Great Pharaoh! Reveal yourself to us!
Bender: [emerging from the reeds to pose as the Pharaoh] Behold! I have emerged from the place of spells and fairies!
Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Your basic bending unit is made of an iron-osmium alloy, but Bender was different. Bender had an 0.04% nickel impurity.
Bender: It's what made me me.
High Priest: The prophecy is strange and crudely drawn at best. It indicates that we are here, and our next Pharaoh is over there, near some... tents.
Bender: [hiding in the reeds] Those are waves, jackass! It's supposed to be a river!
Fry: Hey, I think I know who the next Pharaoh is.
Leela: Oh, lord!
Bender: [after spray painting a picture of himself with the words "Bender lives large and kicks butt!" on a wall] There. Now no one will forget how I lived or my attitude regarding butt.
Bender: [whilst being whipped] You call that motivating me? Don't just whip with your arms. The power comes from your hips. Like this.
[He takes the whip and whips himself. The rest of the slaves arrive with the block]
Leela: Bender, quit giving the slave drivers pointers!
Fry: Yeah, remember who your real friends are.
Bender: I'll tell you who I remember.
[points out tombs]
Bender: Enupsis! Pleotut! Whatsisname! He was the greatest of all.
Fry: Dearly Beloved, we are here today to remember Bender, taken from us in the prime of life; when he was crushed by a runaway semi, driven by the Incredible Hulk.
Bender: Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death.
Fry: You know what the worst thing about being a slave is? They make you work hard without paying you or letting you go.
Leela: Fry, that's the only thing about being a slave.