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"How I Met Your Mother" Life Among the Gorillas (TV Episode 2006) Poster

Quotes

Lily: Look, you know, whatever anthropology you do at work is your business, but please don't act like that around here.

Marshall: Lily, when Dr. Aurelia Birnholz-...

Lily: No, when Dr. Australia Birdbath-Vaseline came home from the gorillas, she didn't run around picking nits out of people's hair and throwing feces!

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Marshall: [after telling Lily how he wants to provide them with the 'life ideal' of home, school for the children, et al] I know that you don't need it, but I love you and I want to give it to you anyway. I want to give you the package.

Lily: The package? You've already given me the package. You've got a great package, Marshall. I love your package.

Marshall: Lily, you're the most incredible woman I know, and you deserve a big package.

Lily: Your package has always been big enough. You may not realize this Marshall Eriksen, but you've got a hugh package.

[walks off]

Marshall: [another woman who overheard the conversation smiles curiously as Marshall follows Lily] Yeah.

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Barney: [to Marshall] Look at you. You suited in an unmistakably upward direction.

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Barney: [about what was wrong with Marshall's high-five] Marshall, I should feel tremors of psych-itude rock my body like a seizure. That was like a declawed, pregnant cat on a porch swing idly swatting at a fly on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

Marshall: Wow, that was... *really* specific.

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Blauman: But wait, knock-knock, back door, who's there? Angelina Jolie... wait, in a wheelchair. What do you do? Go.

Bilson: Dude, Scarlett Johannsen with no arms, any day of the week. Yeah!

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Lily: Screw them, we're adorable!

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[Barney is singing karaoke and Marshall cuts the music]

Barney: Dude, Rocckupied.

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Marshall: Wow, that is a boatload of motivation posters!

Barney: Yeah, I got them all! Team work, courage, awesomeness...

Marshall: There is one for awesomeness?

Barney: Yeah, I had it made.

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Narrator: When your Uncle Marshall was ten years old, he read a book called Life Among the Gorillas. It was written by an anthropologist named Dr. Aurelia Birnholz-Vazquez, it told the story of the year she spent living among the Western Lowland Gorillas of Cameroon. When Dr. Birnholz-Vazquez came to the local community college to give a lecture, Marshall, the youngest member of the audience, raised his hand with a question.

Young Marshall: What advice do you have for a budding anthropologist?

Dr. Aurelia Birnholz-Vazquez: So you want to be an anthropologist?

Young Marshall: Yep. When I grow up, I want to go live with the gorillas, just like you did.

Narrator: What she said next changed his life.

Dr. Aurelia Birnholz-Vazquez: Oh, that's wonderful, but I'm afraid you can't. They'll all be dead by then.

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Marshall: After law school, I'm going to work for the NRDC. They're gonna stop global warming.

Narrator: [In 2030] Well... I mean... they did their best.

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Marshall: Hey, so, now that I'm working here, are you finally going to tell me exactly what your job is?

Barney: [Waves hand dismissively] Please.

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Ted Mosby: [after getting an ominous-sounding e-mail from Victoria] So she's going to dump me. Has anyone ever said, "Listen, I've been thinking," and then follow it up with something good? It's not like: Listen, I've been thinking, Nutter-Butters are an underrated cookie. What else can it be? What could she possibly have to say to me that she couldn't write in an e-mail?

Robin Scherbatsky: I cut off all my fingers?

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Marshall: [after Barney tells him to fit in at work he must change his entire personality] Okay, at first, I was appalled, but then I realized it's just like Dr. Aurelia Birnholz-Vasquez in Life Among the Gorillas. I have to gain the acceptance of the herd by behaving exactly like one of them. It's an anthropological study. Isn't that cool?

Lily: It sounds kinda like peer pressure.

Marshall: No, no, no. It's totally anthropological and it's cool and I'm doing it.

Lily: Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's peer pressure. We have an assembly every year.

Marshall: I'm *portraying* someone who succumbs to peer pressure.

Lily: All right, but if those guys try to pressure you to smoke, what do you say?

Marshall: Only when I'm drunk.

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Bilson: Okay, Eriksen, let's get to work. It's 2:00 a.m. It's raining outside. Ding dong! What? The doorbell? Oh, hello, Jessica Alba in a trench coat and nothing else. But wait - knock, knock. Somebody's at the back door?

Marshall: I don't have a back door.

Bilson: [Ignores this] Oh, my gosh, Jessica Simpson? What a surprise. Two Jessicas, you gotta pick one. What do you do? Go.

Marshall: Right. Well, uh... I'm engaged, so...

Bilson: Fiancee's out of town. What do you do? Go.

Marshall: We're still engaged, even if she's...

Bilson: Okay, fiancee's dead. Hit by a bus. What do you do? Go.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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