German 2nd: Well Count, The old bull ring I understand is traditional in these encounters?
Count of Toledo: You are well informed. The sand you see, soaks up the blood.
Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: This reminds me of the time that I was a spy in Spain during the first world war.
Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: [narrating] I was stationed in the ancient seaport of Barcelona. You know, there's that lovely boulevard that leads down to the harbor, romantic cafes, you know, hidden behind shady vines. Amazing buildings by mad Spanish architects. What a place for a young man. And what a place for a spy. I tell you, Spain in World War One was every spy's dream. The entire anti German alliance worked as a team. There was Marcello, the Italian. He'd seen everything. There was Charles, a Frenchman, who used to be a tax inspector. There was Cunningham, the Englishman. In peace time, he wrote thrillers and in war time he acted them out. And there was me, the new boy on the block.
Pablo Picasso: [Indy is getting reacquainted with Pablo Picasso] Don't tell me you're...
Indiana Jones: Yup!
Pablo Picasso: Norman! How's the painting coming along, huh?
[gives Indy a hug]
Indiana Jones: No, Norman Rockwell was another kid, I'm Indiana Jones.
Pablo Picasso: Ah, well, we can't all be talented.
Indiana Jones: Well, I just wondered if you wanted any help with...
Pablo Picasso: [grabs Indy by the lapels] Picasso wants help in painting? You think any pagan just walks in off the street to paint like Picasso paints?
Diaghilev: I need someone who knows how to stand still. Drop your trousers.
Indiana Jones: Now listen...
Diaghilev: I wish to look at your legs.
Indiana Jones: My name is Indiana Jones, Mr. Diaghilev.
Diaghilev: [chuckles] Don't be silly! That's not a Russian name.
Indiana Jones: Neither am I...
Diaghilev: Everybody in my ballet company is Russian, Igor.
Balet Dancer: He has English Russians...
Balet Dancer # 2: Italian Russians...
Balet Dancer # 3: And French Russians.
Diaghilev: You think I can afford to bring Russian Russians all the way from Russia?
Cunningham: So, you've successfully infiltrated the old tutu brigade, eh?
Marcello: And the Count is, how you say in Englese? Eh, a semi-pshychotic paranoid introvert.
Charles: An exceptionally jealous blighter.
Chauffeur: Sorry to be a moment or two late, your honor, I had to rescue a priest from a mob of anarchists.
Count of Toledo: That's no excuse for poor time keeping, Julio.
Cunningham: Madame, we owe you and Colonel Schmit an apology.
Nadia: You'll have to deliver his to the cemetery, you toffee-nosed bozo!
Spanish 2nd #1: [the count has just shot the top of two statues] I think I know why no one has ever attempted to have an affair with the countess before now...
Count of Toledo: Very well gentlemen, shall we go and should ourselves... a German?
Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: You may think we're right back where we started, but the crucial thing is: it was a jolly good effort!
Theatre Caretaker: Ah there you are, Professor Jones.
Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: That's me.
Theatre Caretaker: You're audience is waiting across the hall in lecture room 103.
Dr. Henry 'Indiana' Jones, Jr.: My audience?
Theatre Caretaker: Yes, the Pennsylvania History Society? This is the American Congress of Neurology.