Them Bones, Them Bones (25 Oct. 1999)

Xena's nightmares about her upcoming baby lead herself, Gabrielle and Amarice to the lands of the Northern Amazons, where they'll have to face Alti once again.

Director:

John Fawcett

Writers:

John Schulian (creator), Steven L. Sears,

Stars:

Lucy Lawless, Renée O'Connor, Claire Stansfield

Cast

Episode cast overview:
Lucy Lawless	...	Xena
Renée O'Connor	...	Gabrielle
Claire Stansfield	...	Alti
Jennifer Sky	...	Amarice
Kate Elliott	...	Yakut
Donogh Rees	...	Chi'ah
Beryl Te Wiata	...	Midwife
Rachel Hayward	...	Amazon

Storyline

Xena's nightmares about her upcoming baby lead herself, Gabrielle and Amarice to the lands of the Northern Amazons, where they'll have to face Alti once again.

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Genres:

Action | Adventure | Comedy | Drama | Fantasy | Romance

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Details

Language:

English

Release Date:

25 October 1999 (USA)

Company Credits

Did You Know?

Trivia

All the credited actors in this episode are female.

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Quotes

Gabrielle: For many years, I walked in Xena's shadow. I wanted to be her. She taught me something. It's warmer standing in the sun.

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Crazy Credits

Xena and Alti were Bad To The Bone during the production of this motion picture.

User Reviews

Lack of Comprehension

Starting from the teaser, this episode was clearly trying its best to annoy me. It dares to reference the famous Alien "chestburster" scene - something that only the very best can get away with. The show-runners of Xena do not belong with them. And I had some hope after such fairly standalone and therefore entertaining episodes as "Succession" and "Animal Attraction", silly as they were. But at least the show was momentarily ignoring most of the past four seasons which had resulted in the show's mythology disappearing into its own rectum.

And then they bring back the most boring, most uninteresting enemy of Xena ever - Alti. As if suffering through *two* episodes worth of her in "Adventures in the Sin Trade" parts 1 and 2 wasn't enough! But then, Callisto is gone forever... So, just like with most Alti-centered episodes, there is a *lot* (and I can't stress this enough) of Spirit World scenes which the makers of Xena mistakenly assume equals "wacky" (read: senseless) montages scored with embarrassing choir chants and poor use of cheap VFX. Apparently, Alti's spirit still lives in the Spitit World and must be killed there if she is to be destroyed forever. One can hope...

More than half of this episode is wasted in spirit journeys that are just filling up the running time. Were they cut, the actual story would take about 15 minutes. Alti wants the pregnant Xena's unborn child's soul. Well, duh! She can't do anything in the physical world! Instead of Gabrielle failing against Alti in the Spirit World, we could have used some character spotlight, especially as Amarice is leaving X & G to join the Northern Amazons. No, you read that right - *Northern* Amazons. Now there's a contradiction in terms! Oh, what's that? It is revealed that until now, Amarice has been no Amazon at all! No way! Unbelievable! Now if there ever was a character with potential who gets dealt a lame character arc, this is the one.

In the end, it all amounts to cheap VFX skeleton vs. skeleton (hence the "clever" title) battle the *noticeably* weightless CGI (and this is 6 years after Jurassic Park's tangible CGI!) of which looks so poor they should have done it in true Ray Harryhousen, Jason and the Argonauts, way instead! You know something is wrong when your visuals can't match those *thirty-six* years older than yours... Oh, the humanity! If one is to look any redeeming features in this episode, it's the apparent final defeat of Alti (I haven't seen the remaining episodes). Overall, this is just below-the-average 4/10, tolerable - barely, but not yet torturous. After this is over, one is left asking, "Why?"