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"Xena: Warrior Princess" The Play's the Thing (TV Episode 1999) Poster

Quotes

Theater Critic: I hear "Buffus the Bacchae Slayer" is playing next door.

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Minya: Gabrielle, I wanted to thank you! I never would have met Paulina if it wasn't for you! In fact, the two of you made me realize something deep down about myself that... I guess I always knew, but... just didn't dare admit. Yes... I'm a... thespian.

[She goes away hand in hand with Paulina]

Xena: Oh. Hah. Congratulations. You managed to touch someone.

Gabrielle: That's not exactly what I had in mind. I wanted to change... violent people into people of peace, not actors. That is what she said, right? Deep down, she's a thespian? Yeah, um... that's what she... said. Yeah.

Xena: Why? What'd you think?

Gabrielle: Thespian...

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Gabrielle: What's this? It's... it's blood. You have a head on your stick. These are your changes? Blood? Sex?

Joxer: Uh, and a hot tub. I got the guys workin' on it in the back. I thought to myself, 'Joxer, what is it that you like?' And I figured, 'That's what the public wants.'

Gabrielle: Artists aren't supposed to care what the public wants. We're not doing this for money.

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Gabrielle: No good playwright would have her art reduced to garbage for the sake of a few dinars!

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Gabrielle: What am I doing? All this sex, blood, violence? Have I gone crazy?

Joxer: Gabrielle! We just sold out the first night!

Gabrielle: Crazy like a fox! I want more blood! Let's make it gushing!

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Dustinus Hoofmanus: I don't play Quadrapeds!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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