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"Xena: Warrior Princess" Takes One to Know One (TV Episode 1999) Poster

Quotes

Discord: So, you're saying that your *horse* killed her?

Xena: In self-defense!

Discord: But I can't take back a horse! I don't *do* animals!

Minya: That's not what I heard!

[all laugh]

Discord: UGH! This job sucks!

[she disappears]

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Discord: [Irritated because Xena has not yet solved the murder] Look, Xena, I'm tired of being jerked around!

Xena: [with a straight face] You gave me 'till sunrise to jerk you around!

Discord: I lied!

[Discord uses her powers to make the clock become lower with sand. She laughs]

Discord: Time flies when I'm having fun!

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Xena: Autolycus. I wouldn't have picked you for a party boy...

Autolycus: Well, call me sentimental, but, uh, I hear the words, "cake and ice cream" and I'm there!

[he chuckles]

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Discord: [Xena kicks open the door to Ravenica's room. The key in the lock falls out. Xena moves to Ravenica and turns her over. Ravenica has a dagger in her chest. A man in leather shorts attacks Xena. She kicks him and is about to punch his face. Discord sits up on the bed] NO! STOP! Not the face!

Xena: You're right. I should start at the bottom!

Discord: [Xena moves to kick him, but Discord sends her flying back with a bolt from her hands. Xena stands] Try that again, you'll be booking a cruise to Tartarus with your friend here, Xena! Oh, sure, I know who you are. All Olympus knows the Warrior Princess. Ares has made sure of that. He's also made me, Goddess of Retribution. Discord's the name!

Xena: Retribution, huh?

[pause]

Xena: Guess you gotta start somewhere!

Discord: Where I'll start is with the person who did this. Hand him over!

Xena: [shrugs to the guy she first found] He's all yours.

Discord: Very funny, but it just so happens he was... otherwise engaged.

[pause]

Discord: So, cut the comedy.

Xena: You think *I* did it?

Discord: I wish. But unfortunately, I saw enough to know it wasn't you...

Xena: The only other people here are my family and friends.

[pause]

Xena: You're saying one of them is the murderer?

Discord: No, you're telling me. After all, it takes one to know one, right? And somebody did kill her.

Xena: Clearly, but...

Discord: No "but"s! You either cough up the killer by sunrise, or I take one of your buddies! Your choice. But either way, someone's gonna pay!

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Discord: Thanks for the help, tall, dark and... mortal.

[pause]

Discord: I should have known Xena wouldn't have the guts to turn in her own mom.

[Discord raises a bow and pulls back the arrow, pointing it at Cyrene. Xena frantically uses her chakram to stop the arrow as it fires at her mother. She looks up at Discord]

Discord: What's the big idea? I thought you were the poster girl for truth and justice.

Xena: I am, when I'm sure it's being served. And I'm not.

[pause]

Xena: Come on, Discord, ya gave me 'til sunrise, remember?

Discord: FINE! Play your little detective games, but time is running out!

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Discord: [after watching all of her men fighting Xena's gang and getting easily defeated] AWWW, you might be *GOOD* in bed, but you're *HOPELESS* in a fight!

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Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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