Mulder: I can't believe you don't want butter on your popcorn. Uggh. It's un-American.
Dana Scully: "Caddyshack", Mulder?
Mulder: It's a classic American movie.
Dana Scully: That's what every guy says. It's a guy movie.
Mulder: Okay, when you invite me over to your place we can watch Steel Magnolias.
Dana Scully: So, um... What's the occasion?
Mulder: I don't know. Just felt like the thing to do. Cheers.
Dana Scully: Cheers.
Mulder: I don't know if you noticed but, um, I never made the world a happier place.
Dana Scully: Well, I'm fairly happy. That's something. So what was your final wish, anyway?
Jenn: The only thing you people are cursed with is stupidity. All of you. Everybody. Mankind. Everyone I have ever come into contact with without fail. Always asking for the wrong thing.
Mulder: You mean making the wrong wishes.
Jenn: Yeah, it's always: "Give me money. Give me big boobs." "Give me a big hoo-hoo." "Make me cool like the Fonz." Or whoever's the big name now.
Mulder: You been out of circulation a long time.
Jenn: So what? In 500 years, people have not changed a bit.
Dana Scully: 500 years.
Jenn: Granted, they smell better now generally speaking but human greed still reigns... shallowness... a propensity for self-destruction.
Dana Scully: You're saying that you have been a firsthand witness to 500 years of human history.
Jenn: I used to be human. I was born in 15th century France and then, one day, an old Moor came to my village peddling rugs and I unrolled one that an Ifrit had taken residence in.
Dana Scully: An "Ifrit."
Jenn: A very... powerful class of jinni. He offered me three wishes. For the first I asked for a stouthearted mule. For the second, a magic sack that was always full of turnips... Did I mention this was 15th century France?
Mulder: What was your third wish?
Jenn: My third... I pondered for a great while. I didn't want to waste it. So, finally, feeling very intelligent I spoke up and I said "Je souhaite un grand pouvoir et une longue vie." "I wish for great power and long life."
Mulder: And thus became a jinni yourself.
Jenn: Gave me the mark of the jinn... right there. It's forever. Sort of like a prison tattoo.
Mulder: Then there is the interesting way in which Mr Flanken died.
Dana Scully: How's that?
Mulder: Chronic morbid tumescence.
Dana Scully: You don't mean what I think you mean?
Mulder: SCHWING! On April 4, 1978, he was admitted to Gateway Memorial Hospital with an extreme priapic condition. Apparently, he was quite the specimen. They had to raise the doorframe in order to wheel him into his hospital room.